The Loving Couple of -OneTruePairing is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Malphas with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, otherworldly petting zoo, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.86 billion -OneTruePairingians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bonesborough Library. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 52.4%.

The frighteningly efficient -OneTruePairingian economy, worth 531 trillion snails a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 109,452 snails, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Gun owners are skilled at everything except shooting, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, Malphas has killer fashion sense, and the recently liberated free press cautiously uses compliment sandwiches to cushion its criticisms of Malphas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -OneTruePairing's national animal is the owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cards.

-OneTruePairing is ranked 60,082^nd in the world and 2^nd in Silent for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.78 law-abiding acts per hour.