The Republic of -Astoria is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Prime Minister Robert Paisley with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 4.884 billion Astorians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Footscray. The average income tax rate is 71.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Astorian economy, worth 361 trillion Astorian dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 74,094 Astorian dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, third party candidates are now gaining some representation in Parliament, the government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system, and Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -Astoria's national animal is the opossum, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

-Astoria is ranked 206,681^st in the world and 92^nd in International Democratic Union for Most Primitive, scoring -196.23 on the Scary Big Number Scale.