The Kingdom of Landow is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Ruler of all kingdoms with an iron fist, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and exploding hoverboards. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.145 billion Landowians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Farquaad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Landowian economy, worth 396 trillion Silver Coins a year, is highly specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Basket Weaving, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 77,113 Silver Coins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 446,271 per year while the poor average 6,343, a ratio of 70.4 to 1.

Business leaders are mailing Ruler of all kingdoms forged birth certificates in a bid to win their rivals as serfs, countless government officials are accused of espionage, the roar of the Niagara 3000 mega-loo can be heard several blocks away, and there's a shortage of swinging hot spots as land development grinds to a halt. Crime is all-pervasive. Landow's national animal is the Dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cave Shadows.

Landow is ranked 14,017^th in the world and 543^rd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 4.67 law-abiding acts per hour.