The Retired and Inactive of Kelban Island is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Kelban with a fair hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, infamous sell-swords, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic, devout population of 5.924 billion Kelbanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tritan. The average income tax rate is 24.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Kelban economy, worth 692 trillion Kelbanian Kronor a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 116,797 Kelbanian Kronor, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs, the nation is going green, corporations claim the third ounce of any metal traded in a wicker-cone on the Sunday of a full moon as a charitable expense, and carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Kelban Island's national animal is the White Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Kelban Island is ranked 250,806^th in the world and 5^th in Roses Without Thorns for Least Corrupt Governments, with 90.58 percentage of bribes refused.