The Mining Colony of Heloin is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Captian Saoirse D'Arcy with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 25.052 billion Spacers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Graeme Station. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Spacer economy, worth a remarkable 6,153 trillion Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 245,613 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

School football matches are usually five-a-side, evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, when electric cars arrived nobody heard them coming, and modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heloin's national animal is the Tarbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Heloin is ranked 1,209^th in the world and 51^st in Lazarus for Highest Food Quality, scoring 317.33 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.