The Eleusinian Sanctuary of Helensted is a titanic, safe nation, remarkable for its aversion to nipples, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 23.92 billion Helenstedians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Knossos. The average income tax rate is 89.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Helenstedian economy, worth a remarkable 3,236 trillion psilocybin mushrooms a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 135,317 psilocybin mushrooms, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of Leader, the government funds large training centres to turn Stags into functioning members of society, fashion models are guaranteed to be 100% genuinely as anorexic as they appear on magazine covers, and the national anthem is considered broadly offensive to those who don't believe in The Gnostic Cult of Gaia. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Helensted's national animal is the Stag, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Gnostic Cult of Gaia.

Helensted is ranked 14,409^th in the world and 4^th in Sol Aeternalis for Most Cultured, scoring 98 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.