The Grand Duchy of Hamittia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by HRH Viscount II with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, avowedly heterosexual populace, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 27.534 billion Hamittians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Biscanne. The average income tax rate is 76.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Hamittian economy, worth a remarkable 4,750 trillion troutpounds a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 172,517 troutpounds, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

The government is avowedly secular, money always talks but the taboo subject of death just brings silence, candidates celebrate "free speech" by spraying champagne all over anyone who shows up to a rally, and when shaking hands with foreign leaders HRH Viscount II wears an armoured gauntlet. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hamittia's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Hamittia is ranked 327,436^th in the world and 1^st in The Kinshasa Tigers for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -13.04 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.