The Federation of Gabeonia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Michelle Courton with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, cheerful population of 16.664 billion Gabeonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Middleton. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Gabeonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,020 trillion Gabeonian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 181,265 Gabeonian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Emergency vehicles have built-in nudge bars to give uncooperative drivers a "gentle" push, dissing one's former country is a prerequisite to apply for Gabeonian citizenship, civil engineers are undermining sinkholes, and toddlers insist their pacifiers be autoclaved. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gabeonia's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Gabeonia is ranked 5,612^th in the world and 1^st in The Gabeonian Realm for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 7,829.57 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.