The Stop Sending Me WA Telegrams of Cylarn is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President James Francis Bulger with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, national health service, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 30.647 billion Cylarnians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lexington. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Cylarnian economy, worth a remarkable 3,043 trillion Cylariuses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 99,322 Cylariuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The number of students attending university has reached a record high, surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods, foreign 'investors' have been taking a great interest in the new secret shuttle, and it's always rabbit season. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cylarn's national animal is the Great White Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Cylarn is ranked 214,630^th in the world and 10,719^th in Lazarus for Rudest Citizens, with 36.41 insults per minute.