The Black Imperium of Xorlarrin is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Grand Maestro with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, unlimited-speed roads, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 14.021 billion Xorlarrians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New R'lyeh. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Xorlarrinian economy, worth a remarkable 3,817 trillion Stangles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 272,278 Stangles, with the richest citizens earning 9.7 times as much as the poorest.

Tough diplomacy is often best handled with a nutcracker, sports club owners are having a moneyball, the latest national park is visited by more sharks than people, and maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Xorlarrin's national animal is the Caragor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Xorlarrin is ranked 305,510^th in the world and 9,958^th in Balder for Most Primitive, scoring -500.9 on the Scary Big Number Scale.