by Max Barry

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Largest Welfare Programs: 2,467thLargest Populations: 2,741stMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,492nd
The Socialist People's Fiefdom of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Werknemers van die węreld, verenig!
Civil Rights
Below Average
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Uncle Noel

Population32.44 billion

LeaderGeneral Secretary Hoogaboom
FaithConstitutional Socialism


The Socialist People's Fiefdom of Uncle Noel is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by General Secretary Hoogaboom with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 32.44 billion Anahuacans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Itztlan. The average income tax rate is 93.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Uncle Noelian economy, worth a remarkable 3,617 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 111,509 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children seem to be getting better at lying these days, aeroplane cockpits no longer have altimeters or airspeed indicators, funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uncle Noel's national animal is the Armadillo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Constitutional Socialism.

Uncle Noel is ranked 122,403rd in the world and 14th in Western Atlantic for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 131,261 Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Welfare Programs: 2,467thLargest Populations: 2,741stTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 3,492ndMost Subsidized Industry: 4,563rdHighest Economic Output: 4,703rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,101stMost Cultured: 5,679thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5,815thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,435thMost Advanced Public Education: 7,634thLowest Crime Rates: 8,598thMost Developed: 8,982ndMost Efficient Economies: 9,808thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,491stLargest Governments: 10,552ndMost Corrupt Governments: 11,127thMost Inclusive: 11,662ndHighest Food Quality: 12,108thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,258thMost Compassionate Citizens: 12,715thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 13,356thSmartest Citizens: 14,429thTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 15,931stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16,595thMost Influential: 17,935thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,532ndNicest Citizens: 21,281stLongest Average Lifespans: 22,843rdLargest Black Market: 27,875thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 28,544thMost Scientifically Advanced: 29,157thMost Devout: 29,807th
Largest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 2nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Devout.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Dead.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Survivors and the Top 5% for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Uncle Noel was struck by a Mk II (Sterilizer) Cure Missile from The resurgent dream, curing 190 million infected.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Smartest Citizens.
  • : Uncle Noel published "Valdrician Units of Measurement" (Factbook: Miscellaneous).