The Incorporated States of The Eastern Colonies is a massive, socially progressive nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 2.944 billion Colonists live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, although Education, Administration, and Defense are also considered important, while Law & Order and Spirituality aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 9.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Eastern Coloniesian economy, worth 529 trillion Notes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 179,843 Notes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Feuilletons can only be deciphered with a Galliennais dictionary, biology and religious education classes have recently been merged, pros are the new cons, and citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Eastern Colonies's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

The Eastern Colonies is ranked 19,800^th in the world and 570^th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 343,430 Standard Monetary Units.