The Classy Realm of Half-Milers is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Warren Douglas with a fair hand, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, keen interest in outer space, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 32.256 billion Half-Milersians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Half-Milersian economy, worth an astonishing 15,023 trillion Eleanors a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 465,743 Eleanors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, this year's televised Budget Forecast has been cancelled because there was already one last year, hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead", and nobody thinks that the Godfather was bettered by Part 2. Crime is totally unknown. Half-Milers's national animal is the Archie, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Half-Milers is ranked 5,938^th in the world and 26^th in Wysteria for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 580,228 Standard Monetary Units.