The Republic of Cypresstwig is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 7.582 billion Cypresstwigians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 48.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Cypresstwigian economy, worth 83.3 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 10,983 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, foreign lack of enthusiasm for Cypresstwigian nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli, the long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand, and a major religion has been named as Cypresstwig's national religion. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cypresstwig's national animal is the lion.

Cypresstwig is ranked 278,553^rd in the world and 6,960^th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 11,360 Standard Monetary Units.