The Glorious Guinea Pig Haven of Ansgard is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Peppermint with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, complete lack of public education, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.236 billion guinea pigs are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Guineapolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The thriving Ansgardian economy, worth a remarkable 7,007 trillion peppers a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 301,572 peppers, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,809,694 per year while the poor average 2,903, a ratio of 967 to 1.

President Peppermint's new android secretary is the latest media darling, the legal profession considers itself above the law, perverts across the land rejoice after 'sexual harassment' was recently renamed 'persuasive courting', and agricultural employees work for peanuts. Crime is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Ansgard's national animal is the pepper-dispensing hooman, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Pepperism.

Ansgard is ranked 8,306^th in the world and 7^th in The Axis of Evil for Largest Populations, with 23.2 billion capita.