The Lands of Cardenao is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Everyone with an iron fist, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 9.781 billion Cardenaoans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Cardonia. The average income tax rate is 72.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Cardenaoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,551 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 158,601 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

There's a lot of mouth-breathers about these days, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, a surprising number of travelers carry their water in vodka bottles, and graffiti is done with immaculate multi-layer shading. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cardenao's national animal is the Squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Mihalyism.

Cardenao is ranked 45,261^st in the world and 13^th in Arrosia for Smartest Citizens, with 46.12 quips per hour.