The Republic of Bethlehem Town is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Conservative Party with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.643 billion Townies are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Town Hall. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Bethlehem Townian economy, worth 385 trillion guilders a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 105,836 guilders, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 303,881 per year while the poor average 29,311, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

The strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by a Lamb, exterminator companies deploy nerve gas in turf wars, pros are the new cons, and university applicants are judged by how much they laugh at professors' tired jokes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bethlehem Town's national animal is the Lamb, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Correct Kinds of Christianity.

Bethlehem Town is ranked 261,671^st in the world and 33^rd in F7 Cliches and Community for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 80.01 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.