The Yugoslav Banate of Balkannia is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by King Paul Alexander II with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, suspicion of poets, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.389 billion Balkanets have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Belgrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.7%.

The very strong Balkannian economy, worth 428 trillion balkans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 79,589 balkans, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 273,054 per year while the poor average 17,026, a ratio of 16.0 to 1.

Blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued, the price of freedom is about half a million balkans, wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them, and saying that someone looks a bit pale can be construed as hate speech. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Balkannia's national animal is the wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Balkannia is ranked 128,129^th in the world and 14^th in Slavija for Lowest Crime Rates, with 62.91 law-abiding acts per hour.