The Armed Junta of Asgarnnia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the Autarch with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, unlimited-speed roads, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 30.418 billion Asgarnnii are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Environment and Welfare not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swolla. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Asgarnnian economy, worth a remarkable 9,249 trillion Kavorkian Scarves a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 304,081 Kavorkian Scarves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,828,845 per year while the poor average 2,981, a ratio of 948 to 1.

The government spends billions to protect Asgarnnia from a disaster that is one in a million, a popular Asgarnnian saying is 'wishing upon a fallen jet engine', there's more vermin than ever on the metro, and the nation frequently puts profits over peace. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Asgarnnia's national animal is the Girl Next Door, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Apostolic Atheism.

Asgarnnia is ranked 331,820^th in the world and 2^nd in Tuig for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -50.4 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.