The Enlightened Holy Republic of Altos is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Ioannes with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and daily referendums. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 26.555 billion Altosians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ioannopolis. The average income tax rate is 50.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Altan economy, worth a remarkable 3,292 trillion Coin of Maxentius Augustuses a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 123,985 Coin of Maxentius Augustuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians who misplace decimal points on expense reports are fired for gross incompetence, the entirety of Ioannes's administration can be crammed into a phone booth, political cartoons depicting Ioannes's face on an Altan Aquila's buttocks are selling like hotcakes, and the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. Crime is totally unknown. Altos's national animal is the Altan Aquila, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Cult of Hiovespasos.

Altos is ranked 11,064^th in the world and 1^st in The Eternal Scholars for Smartest Citizens, with 91.22 quips per hour.