The Sovereign Rule of Aestorn is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Older Pig with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 13.801 billion Aestornians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gipi. The average income tax rate is 72.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Aestornian economy, worth a remarkable 1,299 trillion coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 94,166 coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The fines for getting caught with the wrong recipe book can force Aestornians into bankruptcy, the endangered saltwater humpback human is only seen in captivity programs, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, and scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aestorn's national animal is the human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Aestorn is ranked 294,083^rd in the world and 39^th in New Western Atlantic for Lowest Crime Rates, with 2.42 law-abiding acts per hour.