by Max Barry

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«12. . .77787980818283. . .160161»

Wetwang on the wolds

No chance General - that's all I'm saying - no chance. we have stripped every pinball machine of the steel balls, and believe me - this is one fight you will be sorry you started.

None shall pass.

You want to get yourselves away to Honitonia and have a look round there.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Beerbellied missourian ambassadors

Special deal on arms for anyone who is interested.

Sheeplike people

Baaa, woohoo what is happening here in peaceful Yorkshire. The Smooties versus granny Grumps and her, who did she say? All good fun eh?

Wetwang on the wolds

We don't care if he comes round here. Chants of "who are ya" are ringing out around the parish.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Beerbellied missourian ambassadors

Standoff in Yorkshire!

An armed standoff is underway between the Yorkshire Smooties and the Wetwang WHO. No blood has been shed as of press time, but things are shaping up to be...

Interesting.

Writ and warrant

May we offer our arbitration and mediation services here. Yorkshire is such a beautiful county that we would not wish to see it striven by strife and conflict.

W&W

Wetwang on the wolds

Well Mr WW you could tell genneral full of - think I might have spelled that wrong - that he would be best employed checking out Honitonia and it's citizens instead of hassling us here in Wetwang on the Wolds.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Wetwang on the wolds

We have today held the parliament in Wetwang on the Wolds, and it has been decided that
1/ There will be an increase in taxation on our finest triple distilled nettle tonic - tax is now to be 3/6 per barrel, payable in advance.
2/ There will be an increase in staffing in the sequin mines, and there will be some new sequin bushes planted down the sequin mines. So we shall need a few extra illegal immigrants to carry out this work, and we are prepared to turn a blind eye when they sneak in past our borders.
After much discussion it was decided to call a seasonal truce and open our borders. This situation will be reviewed in the New Year, depending on how others behave. This was eventually decided upon because half of the parliament felt that Father Christmas would not visit if we were seen to be not behaving. The other half just laughed.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

The mejobsworth

Right now your chance, everyone to Wetwang for Christmas. Take as much empty cases as you can to stock up on the Nettle Tonic before she puts the price up. Please check under your vehicles before crossing her borders and any undesirables should be removed and sent to the General for whatever!!
I personally will have a good gander around and gather what I can before the Smooties ravage the place in the new year.

Wetwang on the wolds

The nettle tonic price was applicable from the date and time of the announcement, so there will be no bargains to be had.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Nappa gisburn

Gutted - the snow didn't get as far as NG yesterday. Stopped just south of our border. :-(

Beerbellied missourian ambassadors

We've had a few flurries this morning, but nothing is sticking. Been warm and damp the last couple days. Went deer hunting yesterday, but alas, no luck.

The mejobsworth

Good news for the Deer then but were you hunting for food or fun?

Beerbellied missourian ambassadors

Both. I find it enjoyable, but I also want to bag my game. Saves quite a bit on the grocery bill.

South yorkshire

Don't quite understand how you find killing dear for fun enjoyable but each to their own. I must admit to not liking you Americans love of guns full stop!

Sheeplike people

Baaa, yes no fun killing for fun in my opinion, that's why we are running out of Tigers/leopards. Eh?

The mejobsworth

A very Happy New Year to all in our region of Yorkshire!!

Wetwang on the wolds

Thats the last time I allow them to have fireworks.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Surround.

Nappa gisburn

Granny, why? who did what to/with whom?

Post by Beerbellied missourian ambassadors suppressed by Surround.

Beerbellied missourian ambassadors

Aye, well, the kill is the least part of it. You see so many things when hunting that you will not see even when hiking.

Happy New Year!

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Surround.

Wetwang on the wolds

Oh dear Nappy - it was carnage, absolute carnage. The lot of them had had more than a few scoops and there was fireworks going upwards, sidewards, every which way. I spent 15 minutes hiding behind a bit of corrugated iron, before Eric was able to get matters under control. I'm begining to realise that this never happened when Ted was in charge - oh well que sera sera with regards to him.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Surround.

Nappa gisburn

Remind me, who is Eric?

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Surround.

Wetwang on the wolds

Keep up Nappy please. Eric is my chauffeur/general lackey. He was given this exalted position when Ted disappeared behind Honitonia's borders.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Surround.

The mejobsworth

Is there anybody out there?

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Surround.

Wetwang on the wolds

I don't know - there's us !

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

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