by Max Barry

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«12. . .90919293949596. . .160161»

Post by The mattabooloo suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mattabooloo

Excuse me, I make the Canoes not Jobby. I will have you know since this wet and windy winter my latest model (Mk 320 with added latex) has been doing record sales. I have had orders far and wide and have even taken on more staff. The orders from Yorkshire natives have however been zero. Never mind.

Wetwang on the wolds

Post by South yorkshire suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

South yorkshire

Well, here we are another year done and what have we got? A safe region, (fingers crossed) but not a lot else. Many years now I have been in Yorkshire and until this game ends will remain here. We all must be the same, log on, have a look and log off. Still. if things need to be said they usually are, so no problem really.

Wetwang on the wolds

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

Obviously you don't know that Jobby has been hawking canoes to those less fortunate folks who have had more than a drop of water to contend with. So there's no wonder your orders have been minimal, to say the very least. He need's telling does that Jobby.

On another note, here at Wetwang on the Wolds we are to start selling triple distilled finest rhubard and nettle tonic. We were out for a ride in the country one day when we came across a field with lots of rhubarb in it, nobody about so we took a root or two, and now we have fields of the stuff outselves, so it seemed sensible to put it to good use.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

The Smooties have gone, what's General thingy going to be doing now - is he up for a private security job ?

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Nappa gisburn

I think they go on holiday when it's quiet.

Wetwang on the wolds

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

I too have been on holiday, and I come back to find the fools in the sequin mines have picked them all and lost the jam jars containing the pickings. So at the moment there are no sequins to be sold.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

I think it was Speedy Gonzales who could be at the bottom of this.

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

We have no one of that name - all the pickers names end in ski or nova - and none can speak Yorkshire - they haven't got s clue, and if they don't find the sequin jars pdq they won't have a job either.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by South yorkshire suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

South yorkshire

A bit of a poor do residents of Yorkshire, is it lack of interest or are we all deep in thought about the forthcoming referendum? Either way far, far too quiet.

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

is that the referendum about whether we let Lancastrians in without a passport?

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

We do not let Lancastrians in, full stop.

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

We are last in the queue according to our Yankee friend, where does that leave our Lancastrian neighbours?

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Not even in the queue

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

No, not even in the queue.

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

Ahem, Is there anybody out there?

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

Oh my word it's busy here. I can't keep up with all this chitchat.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

Diplomacy Officer - ha ha

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

The mejobsworth

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Homeland officer -sounds important

Post by Nappa gisburn suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Well the Smooties are going to have their work cut out from now on.

The mejobsworth

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

The Smooties went away a while back - have they returned ?
I have been honing my diplomacy skills during conversations between Eric and Muriel Clutterbuck, they are constantly arguing. I think my diplomacy worked when I banged their heads together. I'm getting good at this diplomacy lark.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

I am getting just a little teeny weeny bit fed up of not having anyone to practice my diplomacy on. Where is everyone ?

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

Very quiet indeed, surely everyone cannot be on holiday?

Post by Beautiful lisa suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Beautiful lisa

I am on holiday and do not need Granny Grumps moaning all the time. Diplomacy Officer indeed, she could not sort out any problems in the past, why on earth do we think she can now? What was Jobby thinking about, he should have given me that post. Love (Roast Pork today) Lisa.

Post by Wetwang on the wolds suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

Wetwang on the wolds

Now then Lisa, pick your teddy up and stop whinging - jealousy will get you nowhere. You stick to your courgette pies love, I understand they are your speciality.
I have been practising my diplomacy and feel well equipped now to head of on any missions that my skills may be needed.

Grandma (there's no one quite like me)

Post by The mejobsworth suppressed by Ussd delegation to yorkshire.

The mejobsworth

Happy Yorkshire day to one and all.

Wetwang on the wolds

«12. . .90919293949596. . .160161»

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