The Land of Kings and EmperorsBoard

The Issue

Reports indicate that several neighbouring nations are engaged in major weapons programs in contravention of international law and treaty, focusing PUBLIC discourse on Ithqington's foreign policy—specifically, its position on preemptive strikes.

The Debate

"We need to respond to these terrorist scumbags!" roars General Stefanie Leach, turning a slightly alarming shade of purple. "I say we announce any illegal weapons program will be treated as an act of war! The risk of harsh words turning into an endless conflict that mires our troops in far-off lands for years at a time is a small price to pay for national security! If you don't act now, these foreigners will think they can push us around FOREVER! They must be taught a lesson, for the good of the United Kingdom!"

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Diplomatic bureaucrat Bruce Jefferson remarks calmly, "There's no need to go off half-cocked. It would be much better if we used an appropriate INTERNATIONAL body—the World Assembly, say, or a The Land of Kings and Emperors TRIBUNAL—to investigate these rumours objectively for us. That way we have the international community on our side, and no one can accuse us of playing judge and jury. It will be well worth the extra diplomatic costs and bureaucratic red tape."

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"If these countries don't respect international law, why would they respect international agencies?" wonders political analyst Ethel Gutenberg. "Our neighbours are acquiring these weapons for a reason: no one wants to pick a fight with a country that has weapons of mass destruction. The solution is simple: if we have WMDs of our own, they won't dare to strike at us. It may seem mad, but in this crazy world, it's the sanest thing we could do."

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Noted pacifist and tambourine artist Fleur Sanchez replies, "As usual, our nation's proud leaders can only see violent solutions to our problems abroad. Wouldn't it be refreshing if they focused on achieving peace through COMMUNICATION and accommodation, rather than force of arms? You may call me a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

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The Issue

The commercial release of the controversial children's book 'Heather Has Two Mommies' in Ithqington has sparked debate over laws concerning the ADOPTION of children by homosexual couples.

The Debate

"I cannot understand for the life of me why anyone could possibly be against this," complains Jacob Kantelberg, showing up at your office wearing a pink feather boa. "Bart and I are good and caring people and will make excellent fathers, so what's the problem? All of the scientific studies have shown that there's no difference in the wellbeing of children raised by gay and straight couples. All that's holding these little darlings back from the happy family life that they deserve is the outdated prejudices of some prudes. All we want is to ADOPT A CHILD to call our own. It'll be fabulous!"

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"I don't care what these so-called scientific studies say," says Elaine Nguyen, representing a number of conservative religious organisations. "How can a boy hope to develop properly into a man if he's being brought up by poofs? A father figure is not supposed to behave as if it is 'okay' to be, um, romantically INVESTED in another man - and the same goes for lesbians! Why? Because it is not okay. It'll just give them gay! Think about it: say you have two gay Bulls - they can't have children because nature did not provide them with the tools and if God wanted gays to have kids then they would have those tools. Don't legalise this blasphemy! Think of the children!"

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"This just doesn't go far enough in my opinion," grumbles Mark Ithqington, an ardent opponent to homosexuality. "The more concessions we give these people, the more they'll reduce our nation to the most embarrassing gayfest of all the region! We'll be a joke! Homosexuality is a sin, and not only that it's a DISEASE of society and there's no two ways about it. It must be criminalised and those responsible hanged just like in the good old days."

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The Issue

Commuters are complaining about the ongoing rise in GAS PRICES, causing a massive debate in the government about what should be done.

The Debate

"Who cares about a few trees?" says oil executive John Woolf. "GAS PRICES are six Ithqington Pounds per gallon, and rising! There is lots of oil to be found in areas currently protected as parks! Solving our energy needs is more important than conserving the environment. Just give us permission to go in there and start drilling, and gas prices will plummet!"

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"There are other ways to recover from the fossil fuel crisis besides ruining forests," says environmental activist Agnes Nguyen. "We shouldn't just take the short way out and drill here. I suggest spending more money on public transportation systems and encouraging people to carpool - if people weren't so reliant on fossil fuel POWERED cars, we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place, and if we start using less oil, the price will drop with the demand."

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The Issue

It has come to your attention that there is some serious debate over whether Ithqington's postal service should be either privatised or nationalised.

The Debate

"The postal system ought to be privatised," says Gertie Jamieson, Director of PostHaste, a small package delivery company. "All the government is doing is putting the tax Ithqington Pounds of hard-working citizens into an outmoded and wasteful system. Private businesses can offer a much more efficient system with less junk mail. A little more expense on stamps is worth that right?"

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"Uh huh? And what about those in rural or remote areas?" asks Lucas Barry, the CEO of Ithqington Mail, the government-owned postal service. "If you privatise this business then they'll get marginalised and ignored. With a nationalised service everyone can use the system and cheaply too. We provide a good service for our customers and have been doing so for a very long time! The postal service should be nationalised and all competition banned!"

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"There's plenty of room for compromise," says Colin Bronte, a stamp collector. "How about we just privatise the mail system and allow other competitors to move in but continue with government funding to Ithqington Mail? That way everyone can get their post and the companies can have their own slice of the pie. It'll require an increase in tax to cope with losses to competition but not too much. I think. To be frank, I just want more stamps."

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Im Back!

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Joy Ride
The worst automobile accident ever to happen in all the lands including other nation states, happened on Bustanutt Rd., right in front of a brand new QT that had been built a

few months before the incident. Three school buses, full of high school students were on their way back from a field trip driving along Bustanutt Rd. at a perfectly legal 38

mph. Barreling in from the opposite direction was a big red, nice and shiny, just stolen fire engine. 71 mph was not in the least legal on this maximum 40 mph roadway, but

these nut busters did not seem to care. After stealing the fire truck, these two gobloons had lifted a few state-of-the-art christmas nutcrackers and gold foil-wrapped walnuts

from the Wal-mart out on Creeper Guppy Ln. They were doing cracks and listening to opera music on max speaker volume, when they saw 4 squad cars, a S.W.A.T. van, and

an Apache attack helicopter racing to catch up from behind them. Knowing that they would be shot, (for there are no jails in Hauisha due to there being almost no crime in

Hauisha due to the fact that criminals are shot at the scene of the crime or when caught in Hauisha) they screamed YOLO to the world and floored the accelerator. Small metal

rockets, the size of bumble bees were flying every which way down the road as the police force pursued the busting nutters, catching citizens and pedestrians in their faces as

they strolled. Both parties were coming up on the QT and the bus drivers were very curious at what all the noise was about (firetruck and police cruiser sirens wailing, choppers

chopping, and bullets slapping). Well they soon found out as one of the red wagons' tires popped from stray shrapnel. The two heavy vehicles collided head on, created a huge

wrenching metal on metal sound followed closely by explosions. Police cars piled up on one side, and the two remaining buses overturned having both tried to stamp their

brakes and swerve. The S.W.A.T. flooded out of the van and used their AR-15's to spray bullets all over the scene, trying to kill the obviously already dead nutter butters, but

hey they wanted to vent some steam after doing nothing but train for years. The Apache was overhead circling the scene, taping the whole thing. Some distance away, a few

kids with LED laser pointers saw the helicopter hovering over the QT they loved to stop at, and thought it would be so sick and awesome if there pointers could reach all the

way over there. At the same time, the camera man in the chopper had just sealed the video tape in a titanium-lined steel safe box when he heard the pilot

squeal "Everything is GRRREEEEEEEENNNN!!!!!" and he felt the bird dip and sway. His last sensation on Earth was of zero gravity as they plummeted the 30 ft to the gas

station below. Everything exploded when the helicopters' fuel tank, after erupting when smashed against the ground, ignited the gasoline the station had just stocked up on.

The 3 kids, after seeing the heat surge flare up and the thick, oily black smoke, did not speak to each other ever again. They walked their separate ways back to their houses,

curled up in their beds and slept. The boys were never the same again and had to see psychiatrists and doctors for the remainder of their lives.

hello The Land of Kings and Emperors what we do today?

Changed my National flag...any comments?

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I tried to edit it earlier to make it brighter but it wouldn't look as nice so I kept it dark...still looks sinister though

Does anyone here know about Polandball?

It's very amusing to look at