«12. . .113114115116117118119. . .399400»
What did you say? 40% living forever? Sounds like a nice place.
Heya guys!
Hello!
Howdy neighbour!
Heyyy.... It's my birthday tomorrow!
His royal highness, King Tuckyourshirtin, has issued a proclamation for lawbreakers and their rightful punishments!
All of King Tuckyourshirtin's allies are encouraged to read and provide valuable feedback:
Thieves: decapitated with a spoon
Murderers: Conscripted into the secret police
Rapists: Must wear bootypants for the rest of their lives with a tee-shirt that says "I'm a pretty pretty princess"
Dissenters: Tongue is to be cut out, then turned into court jesters for his royal highness's amusement
Heretics: loins to be burnt, and forced to say "blimey! Me loins are on fire!", then decapitated
Spies: Blinded with a spyglass
Traitors: Write "I'm a big huge peen and I'm sorry"
Deserters: Cannon-fodder
Horrible Jesters: Killed via slapstick
Doom-saying Madmen: Beaten to death with "End is nigh" picket signs
Lookalikes to his royal highness: Conscripted to the royal "We're definitely not doubles!" brigade
Brothers of Blood: Gets a pat on the back
Blue Sentinels: Gets a pat on the back
Being a monster: Thrown out of the airlock
Riding dragons: forced to teach his highness how to ride dragons, then fed to one
Pedophiles: Death by snu snu
Racists: Death by minority gang-bang
Bankers: Have several tons of gold dropped on them
Capitalists: See above, but with paper money
Socialists: Executed, then have bodyparts placed in all graveyards in the nation in accordance with their beliefs
Communists: Turned into secret police
Zoophiles: Forced to run the "cross-nation derby" on all fours in a cow kigu while having a cattle prod stuck up their fannies.
What a superb collection of ironic punishments. Although, his royal highness, King Josh III would have loved for all these criminals to die after 7 days if they weren't already executed.
Dominiscius finds it odd that traitors get off easier than even your most petty criminals.
So running the numbers, assuming 7.89 deaths per thousand people per year, the current crude death rate for the real world altogether according to the CIA World Factbook, a population of 544 million, and 0.1% of deaths to this cause, about 4,292 people died because of space shuttle mishaps in the Lobstermen every year.
...And 776,881 are ritually sacrificed every year, for a rate of 2126 per day, or 177 per hour, or 3 per minute.
Your country is messed up, bro :P
what about zoophiles? how do they get punished?
zoophiles are dressed up in Kigu cow suits, and forced to run the entire length of the nation, on all fours, with someone sticking a cattle prod in their arse the entire way.
Sky Coast Airway would love to package deal tickets for customers to see that!
That sounds highly entertaining.
We air all capital punishment sessions 24/7 on public broadcasting, feel free to tune into the fun! Child-friendly, and parent approved!
Child friendly capital punishment hearings? If that' British humor, it comes through pretty well.
Punishing zoophiles?! For what? Because they are ill? In New Techland we're helping them in reaching a proper sexual orientation.
Here we just shoot the buggers also I hope you guys don't mind, us importing some water, having a drought you see :\
That sounds really entertaining and messed up at the same time.
Hey all. Got a recruitment TG and thought this place seemed interesting. The region's size and the fact that it uses calculators is concerning to me, but eh. Nice t'mee'cha'll. I've been playing for...what is it, six, seven years now, and have been member of more regions than I can remember, serving in a government or general administrative position in many of them. I've based this nation's geography and culture heavily off of (a slightly warmer) Siberia and a handful of its indigenous groups. Hope to get you know you all and have a lot of fun! (^_^)
Hello!
Welcome!
Calculators are a bit of a necessary evil, they're the only way to come up with any reasonably intricate nation data without having constant arguments over it being fudged. We avoid the superstate issues that other regions have by placing minimum and maximum caps on population (50m-500m), gross domestic product per capita (10k-35k) and defence budget expenditure (2%-5% of national budget), and so for over a year we've actually managed to avoid the stupid arms races everywhere else winds up having. :P
Welcome :D
"Haw, I win pageant, now sissies with dresses will kneel before my gloriously sexy body! Now where are my pants?" - King Tuckyourshirtin
http://w11.zetaboards.com/Independent_Order_NS/topic/10511696/1/#new
«12. . .113114115116117118119. . .399400»
Advertisement
