Beeker Island RMB

WA Delegate: None.

Founder: The Insane Cult Following of STALKER of B E E K E RThe Insane Cult Following of STALKER of B E E K E R

World Factbook Entry

Welcome to Beeker Island!!! Headquarters of the Church of Beekerism.
Here Linkwe worship and serve our dearest beloved deranged MASTER and LORD The StalkerThe Stalker, sent back in time from the alternate future to prevent the 2012 apocalypse, which he did your welcome.

As the insane messiah and savor of all mankind, the schizophrenic creator of a new reality the Stalker is beloved cult leader within Hell.

The Stalker is the son of the LinkMUPPET GOD B E E K E RB E E K E R, who loves him so MUCH. He is often seen with his lovely mother who since he strangle the life out of her body and turned into a giant taxidermy sex doll, have been partying all night and abducting people to cook alive in meat stew all day.


The StalkerThe Stalker stalking a region near you...

Embassies: The Region of Misfit Toys, Legion of Doom, Midian, Swine, War, and 1 other.Maximo Satanae Ordinis Demonata.

Tags: Small, Featured, Snarky, Cyberpunk, Anarchist, and 2 others.Religious, and Magical.

Beeker Island contains 6 nations, the 2,240th most in the world.

Administration...

Today's World Census Report

The Stupidest Citizens in Beeker Island

The following nations had the highest proportion of citizens designated in World Census studies as either "Uneducated" or "Just Plain Dumb".

As a region, Beeker Island is ranked 671st in the world for Stupidest Citizens.

#NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Fiefdom of 10Corporate Police State“I love humanity but I hate people.”
2.The Insane Muppet Licker of Beeker StalkerCompulsory Consumerist State“You can MEEP MEEP me anytime ;)”
3.The Insane Cult Following of STALKER of B E E K E RIron Fist Consumerists“You can MEEP MEEP me anytime ;)”
4.The Insane Sultanate Overlord of Beeker Stalker ArmyCapitalist Paradise“We will Muppet for BEEKER!!! WE WILL MUPPET ALL!!”
5.The Kingdom of Harry Man KipInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Come here boy, yea just like that don't be shy”
6.The Drooling Lovers of Beeker LegionTyranny by Majority“We are Muppet, We are Legion, Expect US!!”

Regional Happenings

History...

Beeker Island Regional Message Board

Show

Post by Banject the natives suppressed by STALKER of B E E K E RSTALKER of B E E K E R.

Banject the natives

209 days ago

Members of this fair region! You have been conquered by The Black Riders! Join us! Also join The Brotherhood of Malice

Beeker exist BEYOND TIME, therefore he CAN NEVER GET OLD. Or at least HE is as OLD as he is YOUNG. DUH.
He NEVER makes mistakes, only VERY CAREFULLY calculated errors that allows US as imperfect beings to better UNDERSTAND and RELATE to our DEARest master and LORD of Muppeting, BEEKER!!! Backwards that WOULD be REKEEB!!

HE IS FLAWLESS IN EVERY WAY! From his flowing beautiful orange hair, to his round lighter orange NOSE, to his six harry tits swarming up on his back.

The Prophecy 1

The END is near guys... ONE THIRD of the PLANET dies this FRIDAY. That's why they call if FRIday, cause b*tches GONA FRY!!

CAN u feel it!? The vibrations man, the VIBRATIONS!! I'm sure you can feel them, we all do.

It will cause the weak and unenlightened to loose their minds and self-destruct. VIOLENCE and CHAOS will follow.

The enlightened ones shall transcend to the NEXT level of consciousness and HUMAN evolution. They will be able to manifest reality by thought alone!

TRUEST me I know, i'm an enlightened one parading as an unenlightened one because i'm a little afraid to accept this truth myself...

AT 11:11 on the 21st!! A new age will dawn UPON all of mankind. Get ready b*tches, gona be one WILD ride.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND yea-ith through the people's devoutness IN their dearest sexy MEEPing MUPPET master, THE WORLD WAS SAVED!

I made peace with Alien Angle race of Nibiru, who helped overt the on coming comic sent to destroy our planet, and I b*tch slapped the anti-Christ and cut of his head as their can BE ONLY ONE, thus stopping the apocalypse.

THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEEN PREVENTED!! YOUR WELCOME!!

YOU SEE, there is one part of the Prophecy, yet to be TOLD!

BEEKER, I am YOUR SON!

Shocking I know, It was a virgin Birth you see, MY MOTHER, Mary Oprah Muppetington (M.O.M.), she broke into Beeker's house one night and stole his sperm crusted tissue, and yay I was BORN.

I came back in time from the future after returning from the past of an alternate future time line to the present in order to prepare in time to prevent the impending apocalypse that destroys the other future. SO Beeker sent his only son, ME, to save the world!!

You may all fall down before me and praise me on your knees as your lord and savior with your mouths and minds open to accepting!!!

Also I expect alot of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh this 25th for my birthday!!

-----------------------------------------------

OF COURSE MY CLOCK WORKS, i'm Cronus after all. Now then,

MERRY BEEKSMAS!!!

I hope you've all BEEN very GOOD this year! Remember the Church of Beekerism HAS BEEN WATCHING YOU!! And as in tradition sponsors the Beeks Claus, where I and my loyal followers break into people's houses to GIVE them WHAT they having COMIN'!!!

EVeryone who has BEEn naaaauuuuuughty, get A COAL shoved UP their BUM! OH HOW I ENJOY THIS TIME OF YEAR! the sounds, the sights, the smells left on my finger. Those who have BEEN good get traditional Beeksmas gifts of breaking their windows to give the gift of the BEEKSMAS wind and replacing their food with Beeksmas LSD laced Cabbage and spreading what they had throughout their house, and of COURSE the traditional foot licking while they sleep. mmhmm tasty.

NOW everyONE GATHER round, LetS SING A Beeksmas CLASSIC!!

Oh Beeksmas Tree, Oh Beeksmas tree,
How lovely are your toe nails.
I collected them, from Beeks bathroom
while wearing, some cheap perfume.
Oh Beeksmas Tree oh Beeksmas tree,
I would kill and murder for THEEE.
Just say the word and i'll cut their throats,
What's that Beeksmas tree?
ARE YOU speaking to me??
OH yes I'll go punch that baby!
Thanks for Pointing it OUt to ME!
Oh Beeksmas Tree oh BEEKSMAS TREE
Do you like my pink panties?
When I put them on, I feel SO FABULOUS!!
Oh Beeksmas tree OH Beeksmas tree!!
I WILL BURN ALL PAGAN CHURCHES FOR THEE!!
Those still inside often Scream
Makes me Laugh and PUREIFIES THEIR PETTY SOULS.
Oh Beeksmas tree oh Beeksmas tree,
I enjoying making LOVE to thee!!
No matter how much ur needles hurt,
I LOVE the WAY you make ME HURT!
OH BEEKSMAS TREE OH BEEKSMAS TREE
ALL HAIL BEEKER and his SON STALKER!!
OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!!

10 Commandments of B E E K E RB E E K E R I S M

Holy Image to meditate on while reading the Commandments - http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3569/beekergirl1.png

I. Thou shall shall accept Beeker into their hearts and any orifices master Beeks request

II. Thou shall recognize Beeker as the World's future half Alien, half human, and half cyborg from the future LORD and Master as foretold by the Mayans and Billy Joel

III. Thou shall watch Beeker sleep outside his window while listening to Christina Aguilera and cutting oneself

IV. Thou shall make a pilgrimage within their lives to Beeker's birth place the log cabin that orbits the moon he was born in, Beekerism holiest shire

V. Thou shall remember that if your thinking of a girl it doesn't make it gay, regardless of the thing in your mouth

VI. Thou shall remember the day Beeker arose from the dead for the sixth time and the seventh time, before doing it for the first time

VII. Thou shall always lick the door nob of a room before entering and write PRAISE BEEKER on the wall of a room before leaving

VIII. Thou shall sacrifice their first born and third born child in the name of BEEKER and World peace, also the 2nd born if requested

IX. Thou shall purge all the non-believers by the flame or firing them into the sun whenever possible

X. Thou shall always punch kittens, puppies, and babies in the face if they fail to recite any of the Commandments of BEEKERSIM when requested

RULEs of the BEEKERITES

1. You do not talk about the BEEKERITES

2. YOU DO NOT TALK about THE BEEKERITES!!

3. Never ever ever, think about PINK ELEPHANTS!!! You just did, didn't you!? BLASPHEMER!

4. Always wait till Beeker has fallen asleep before entering him room to smell him

5. Always follow through on all Beekerite assignments, NEVER question them regardless of how ridiculous they might appear to your mortal eyes

6. Memorize all the teachings of BEEKERSIM, and spread the word of the coming AGE of BEEKER

7. NEVER forget the seventh rule, its very important!!

8. To expect to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, is to expect what never was and never will be

All new Beekerite will receive their IMPORTANT Beeker assignments in the coming Days. Just remember once you go Beeker, you never go back.

-------------------
Official CHURCH positions on various social matters.

1. The Stalker is the Son of our god Beeker, who sent his only son back in time to prevent the 2012 APOCALYPSE and saving the world by making peace with the Alien Angle race of Nibiru, who helped overt the on coming comic sent to destroy our planet, and b*tch slapping the anti-Christ and cutting ofF his head as their can BE ONLY ONE, thus stopping the apocalypse.

2. Believes the concept of gender is a government conspiracy, in reality everyone is born a boy, but the government cuts off half the people's penis to provide a subservient slave class for those who have penises.

3. Believes alcohol cures cancer along with other healing effects, and should be given to babies and children regularly in massive quantities.

4. Believes the world will end by Zombie Apocalypse on January 23rd, 2007.

5. Believes blacks should follow Michael Jackson lead and get there skin bleached because minorities don't get into heaven.

6. Believers Biologically-Enhanced Bats and Mermaids are stupid.

7. Believes Jesus and Mohammed are the anti-Christ and responsible for 99% of the world's wars.

8. Believes Kittens are Cute and Cats should be worshiped as they are descendants of Beeker.

9. Believes the American Congress was right to pass the recent bill that allows the military to lock up American Citizens without a trail, indefinitely, if their suspicious, like missing fingers or have more than 7 days of food in their house.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-december-7-2011/arrested-development

http://www.aclu.org/blog/national-security/senators-demand-military-lock-american-citizens-battlefield-they-define-being

http://www.areweawareyet.com/8944/senate-passes-s-1867-allowing-indefinite-
detention-of-americans-considers-bill-authorizing-more-torture/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LwKxZfcEj-U#t=78s

(Pre-2012 APOCALYPSE)
The END is near guys... ONE THIRD of the PLANET dies this FRIDAY. That's why they call if FRIday, cause b*tches GONA FRY!!
CAN u feel it!? The vibrations man, the VIBRATIONS!! I'm sure you can feel them, we all do.
It will cause the weak and unenlightened to loose their minds and self-destruct. VIOLENCE and CHAOS will follow.
The enlightened ones shall transcend to the NEXT level of consciousness and HUMAN evolution. They will be able to manifest reality by thought alone!
TRUEST me I know, i'm an enlightened one parading as an unenlightened one because i'm a little afraid to accept this truth myself...
AT 11:11 on the 21st!! A new age will dawn UPON all of mankind. Get ready b*tches, gona be one WILD ride.
----------------
AND yea-ith through the people's devoutness IN their dearest sexy MEEPing MUPPET master, THE WORLD WAS SAVED!
I made peace with Alien Angle race of Nibiru, who helped overt the on coming comic sent to destroy our planet, and I b*tch slapped the anti-Christ and cut of his head as their can BE ONLY ONE, thus stopping the apocalypse.
THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEEN PREVENTED!! YOUR WELCOME!!
YOU SEE, there is one part of the Prophecy, yet to be TOLD!
BEEKER, I am YOUR SON!
Shocking I know, It was a virgin Birth you see, MY MOTHER, Mary Oprah Muppetington (M.O.M.), she broke into Beeker's house one night and stole his sperm crusted tissue, and yay I was BORN.
I came back in time from the future after returning from the past of an alternate future time line to the present in order to prepare in time to prevent the impending apocalypse that destroys the other future. SO Beeker sent his only son, ME, to save the world!!
You may all fall down before me and praise me on your knees as your lord and savior with your mouths and minds open to accepting!!!
Also I expect alot of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh this 25th for my birthday!!
------------------------------------
For all should preach the word of Beeker's awesomeness and rejoyius in me his only son sent back from the alternate future to prevent the 2012 apocalypse, which I did. Your welcome.
Therefore you should recognize my authority to go on long winded rants about whatever random ridiculous made up but always true thought that pops into my head at any given moment on any given planet WE MAY BE ONE according to the government, who are REALLY all controlled by the UN Lizard people who have secretly replaced every major world leader. I'm deep under cover to infiltrate their inner circle. Kinda like James Bond or Jack Bauer. I just had sex with an iguana to gain their trust. I've been eating insects for months. It all leads to this moment, this will be almost as hard as the time I killed the anti-christ, or when my father Beeker killed Hitler.
Now someone get me a shirley temple and a shot of whiskey. B*tches be trippin'.
-------------------------------
10 hours ago: The Meep Meep Muppetdom of B E E K E R ceased to exist.
It was me..
I just had to, you know, like.. Oedipus before me I have killed my father to become my own man. Also so I could bang my sweet mama.
Someday I may choose to rise my departed father from the grave, but for now he rest his eyes closed, as tradition wiTH all earthly gods, I cut him up into little pieces to be fed to my followers.
For yah eat this flesh for it is the flesh of my father oh Beeker.
We also offer ranch dip.
Yum yum, in my tum tum, also his eye sockets have been fun. To you know put things in, an out and in and out and then oh god yes yes yesy esyessssevwREABTSCGFHGVBYFUKNHBIB TFGRFDWZ

The Messiah The StalkerThe Stalker

Born a virgin Birth, his MOTHER, Mary Oprah Muppetington (M.O.M.), broke into, his father, B E E K E RB E E K E R's house one night and stole his sperm crusted tissue, and yay The Stalker was BORN.

So The Stalker came back from the alternate future to prevent the 2012 apocalypse, which he did your welcome. Made peace with Alien Angle race of Nibiru, who helped overt the on coming comic sent to destroy our planet, and b*tch slapped the anti-Christ and cut of his head as their can BE ONLY ONE, thus stopping the 2012 apocalypse.

Later he killed and ate his father Beeker as their can be only one. Someday Stalker may choose to rise his departed father from the grave, but for now he rest his eyes closed, as tradition wiTH all earthly gods, cut him up into little pieces to fed to his followers.

The Church of Beekersim

The Messiah The StalkerThe Stalker

Currently Deceased Father of Messiah B E E K E RB E E K E R

Demigods

NodinNodin Demigod of History and the past

FreddlandFreddland Demigod of Science and Logic

Big Jim PBig Jim P Demigod of The Gates of Hell and the River Styx

Pseudomonarchy DemonumPseudomonarchy Demonum Demigod of Immortality

Patrons Saints

Cynical AlcoholicsCynical Alcoholics Patron Saint of Delegates Past and rising from the dead

Evil PersonzEvil Personz Patron Saint of Painting and Color

War-Salvaged SoldiersWar-Salvaged Soldiers Patron Saint of Youth

Frank de BoerFrank de Boer Patron Saint of Soccer and grassy fields

Shirakiin Patron Saint of Fine bodies and the feminine form.

Beekerites in Training
LorxLorx
JarglesJargles

Illuminati spies
Gabriel
Future Fossil Birds
Sabana Santa
Blind Guardian
Overseer of Convergence
Snoopy the Beagle

Congratulations to the featured region!
Don't look underneath the island.

(This is uncanny. It will be some time before I dare mention muppets again.)
page=rmb/postid=2681325

WELCOME soon to be followers of the rightious word of Beekerism to my humble abode here on Beeker Island. The best place on earth and the region I expect you will all move to if you haven't already done so.

PROUDLY standing as today's FEATURED region, I take this as a CLEAR official endorsement from Max Berry himself in support of the Church of Beekersim!! May my light flow throughout the lands into the hearts and minds of everyone. May my words be heard, and KNOWN as truth. MEWHAHAHAAHaaa and may everyone have a laugh as awesome as mine.

Beekerism will now become famous across the lands. Soon everyone will make blood sacrifices to me to win my favor. And I will SAY. BOW BEFORE me MORALs, for I am a GOD and you are but my subjects created for my amusement. You see this ma?? Isn't this a day to behold in true glory of the highest muppet order.

*stalker in a womanly voice* Very impressive deary i'm so proud of you. Look at Beeker Island now, Truly a deranged haven for alll your followers. This calls for a celebration!!! Let mama make you your favorite drink! The Stalker Bloody Mary, vodka and puppy blood.

Oh no no mama, we're DRINKin' RUM tonight!!! It's gona be a pirate party. Free rum to all one eyed people! And free eye removal for all two eyed people.

I'm collecting them in jars as a birthday present for my mama.

OH your so sweet deary I do love the taste of fresh eyeballs in the morning.

Your gona be my pirate mama tonight, it's a yo Hoe hoe and bottle of rum 15 jars of random people's heads.

SO good vistors and followers of Beekerism, MAKE yourself at home! Feel free to help yourself to strangled puppy stew, free eye removal, or one of our famous Stalker Bloody Marys. So good it will kill you. Probably, it's highly toxic for mortals.

Happy Featured Beeker day!

Congrats on being featured, Beeker.

Switch to Forum View

Latest Forum Topics