Ban Hammer RMB

WA Delegate: None.

Founder: The Ghost Grey Penguin of --TAO--

World Factbook Entry

The region name created by TAO, usurped by thieves (who died in agony for their sins), reborn under TAOsian management.

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Embassies: The Beech Beach House and Andromeda.

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Ban Hammer is home to a single nation.

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Today's World Census Report

The Most Extensive Civil Rights in Ban Hammer

The citizens of nations ranked highly enjoy a great amount of civil rights, or freedoms to go about their personal business without interference or regulation from government.

As a region, Ban Hammer is ranked 6,437th in the world for Most Extensive Civil Rights.

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1.The Pouchy-Kicking Penguins of NTO-05Capitalist Paradise“Hmmm”

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Ban Hammer Regional Message Board

Thanks, Pouchy-Kicking Penguins of NTO-03!

Demosthenes
Supreme Overlord of The United Socialist States of Barometria
1977 Barometric Pressure Avenue
New Copenhagen, Stalingrad, 1A9-4J6

Chuck Norris
Emperor of The Empire of Chuck Norris Island
172 Texas Ranger Highway
New San Antonio, Shining Star, 78253

Dear Chuck Norris,

First of all, does it ever get confusing to have every citizen of your country named Chuck Norris?

Secondly, we commend you on your recent intention to allow unmitigated Freedom of the Press within your barbed-wire walls. This will increase the morale of your citizens and enable them to use their own logic and reaosning in seperating fiction from fact.

The most important aspect of your recent Legislation, however, is the, "Boy who cried wolf Philosophy." This worked well for me because when the National UnIntelligencer reported that I was spotted fondling myself publicly whilst high on X and dressed as Lady Gaga, everyone dismissed it as complete nonsense. In reality, I was actually dressed as Lady Gaga, was high on X...and yes...I may have been handling myself in an inappropriate fashion.

Could you imagine if newspapers were forced to tell the truth? Everyone would know that story was true, and I'd be ruined!!!

With respect to the miners, the Minimum Age of Employment in Barometria is 22, otherwise, how could we assure that everyone goes to college.

It is important that everyone go to college that way the Government can fill positions as needed such as Assessor for the Seventh Bureau of Internal Supply-Side Department of Labour. He recently concluded his seventeen-year study and determined that there is enough labour supply to actualize an Eighth Bureau of Internal Supply-Side Department of Labour, so he can lighten his workload a bit.

In the meantime, we need Unions, because work sucks and they make it suck less. This country was once so barbaric, that up until two years ago, you had to work thirteen hours per week to be considered full-time! It's down to ten, and the Unions were instrumental in providing such freedoms.

However, we do appreciate your concern and wish you all the best, Chuck Norris Island. Feel free to plant a tree, at some point, if the mood takes you.

Best Regards,

Demosthenes-Supreme Overlord

Plant some palms along the beach. They look pretty in the sunset.

Chuck Norris Island would never plant any palms, they're not independently profitable.

Not true, CNI ... there are coconut palms, date palms, and the very commercially oriented ornamental palms. Ban Hammer is the exclusive dealer of palm trees for 3/4 of the beaches in the NS world.

Chuck norris island

2 years 42 days ago

You're exactly right.

Don't listen to Demosthenes, he wouldn't recognize Economical viability if you shoved a wad of tightly wrapped hundreds up his...well, he doesn't know anything about the Economy is the point.

We make plenty of money off of our Palm trees, except the ones on the beaches in the Southern, Eastern and Western parts of the island, because nobody can swim there. We charge an admission, but nobody goes. Technically, we are not going to prevent them from swimming there, but 82% of the population that has went swimming in the waters off of any of those beaches acquired cancer with a year. I keep trying to tell them that correlation is not causation, but they don't listen.

It's because of all the underwater drilling problems, but how can I institute unprofitable and arbitrary safety regulations? Can't do it, won't do it.

Fortunately, the Northern beach is doing quite well on admissions because the waters are perfectly safe. It's a shame that there is no oil over there, but if all of that pointless clean saltwater is going to be there, and people like it, we might as well make a few Norrians on it. Very few. We charge an outlandish price for admission, but too much of the tourist industry is focused on LEAVING the country rather than coming into it or going to places within it. I'm not going to lie, as much as I hate to admit it, most of them go to visit Barometria, many have immigrated there, mostly the Athiests. I hope they enjoy starving, in the meantime, I've got some caviar here that really deserves my attention.

Yours,
Chuck Norris

Emperor of Chuck Norris Island

I think he needs to eat more fiber. A diet low in fiber has been linked to not knowing anything about economics.

its a bit harsh, the wfe?

Not at all. Why?

As the NEW YEAR quickly approaches, let us all remember that the coming year will still be filled with marsupials. Everyone should endeavor to correct that. Remember! ... The only good pouchy is a deep-fried or honey-roasted pouchy.

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