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Hi, I'm Mitt Romney and I rode to Salt Lake City on a white horse and wearing a suit of armor in order to save the Olympics.

I am here to recruit new nations for the region of Space Jesus. Of course, 47% of you are just meaningless puppets taking up space and contributing nothing to this region. My job is to not care about you, and to focus on the small percentage of nations in the middle who can be persuaded to relocate regions. If you need a ride, I do have some good friends who own NASCAR teams that can shuttle you from here to Space Jesus. Also, a couple of my wife's Cadillacs can be pressed into service depending on how busy things get.

Move to Space Jesus today!