The Fattest Citizens in Former United States
World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Constitutional Republic of Andaricus | Anarchy | “Freedom Is The Right Of All Sentient Beings” | |
| 2. |  The Galactic Paradise of Hassett | Civil Rights Lovefest | “Strength Through Freedom” | |
| 3. |  The House of Representatives | New York Times Democracy | “E pluribus unum” | |
| 4. |  The Peace and Quiet of The Silver Strand | Father Knows Best State | “Under the boardwalk” |
