by Max Barry

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Yes, that would be much appreciated.

Alright, I should probably stop stalling. To be honest, I wrote out a rough draft in no particular order, and I'm still trying to figure out a way to link them all together. I honestly can't be any more discordant than I already am.

CHAPTER 2WO
___In a bright flash, the unicorn and dragon both find themselves thrown into a bustling city, filled with many ponies rushing about. The way the ponies move about gives the entire setting an ominous atmosphere, shuffling from one stand to another, talking to each other in whispers, although rarely. Spike looks worried, but Trixie doesn't seem to notice.
___"Are y-you sure we're in the right place?" asked Spike.
___"No." Said Trixie, very blatantly, too.
___"Wh-WHAT?!? I thought you knew where they are!"
___Trixie looked exasperated. "Trixie has said no such thing! And it annoys the Great and Powerful Trixie that a certain purple dragon can't calm down and let me explain!"
___Spike became quite.
___"Now then," continued Trixie, "The Great and Powerful Trixie cannot pinpoint the exact place that you friends have landed in. However, they are somewhere in this world, and Trixie believes that they must be nearby. However, they are not together."
___Spike was about to say something, but Trixie threw him a stern look, so he closed his mouth again.
___"I know that they are no longer together because they left very distinct marks in the ground back at the library. Whatever spell Twilight casted, it must have a plan for them, which we must also follow as well. So," Trixie began to trot away. "We should not stay here. We need to find them as soon as possible!"
___Spike quickly followed Trixie, but he was still worried. "But what if we don't find them?"
___"Don't worry, we will" Said Trixie in confidence.
___Spike still looked doubtful "I sure hope you're right about this"
___Trixie seemed to ignore Spike as she came to an intersection. She chose a path, seemingly at random, and continued on, a concerned dragon following close behind.
___"I sure hope Twilight is okay" he said.
___Meanwhile, two ponies, a mare and a colt, perked their ears up. They caught notice of the two, and followed along.

So it's short, but consistency is not my thing either. Have another chapter while I'm still here. This section is where I start to emphasize that the storyline is not in any chronological order.

CHAPTER 3HREE
___A brown-haired colt stopped to catch his breath. He seemed to have lost his pursuer at the moment and is now figuring out a way back to sanctuary. He has gotten very lost, and is starting to get very worried.
___"Oh no, this can't be happening," He murmured as he brushed off dirt from his lab coat. "I only left for a moment! I was only observing, but their condition is getting worse. I think it's starting to affect their behavior. I need to take notes on this, but I need to get back to-"
___A low growl slowly started, and the colt stopped in his tracks. He turned around slowly, hoping not to see what he thought it was.
___Unfortuately, it was exactly what he hoped not to see. What is this mysterious pursuer? Well, honestly, no pony knows. Some could compare it to a changeling, I guess, but that would be like comparing a werewolf to a puppy. These creatures are equine-like, but seem more ferocious than the average pegasis. They often attack at the slightest sense of danger, regardless if the "enemy" could actually cause any damage.
___But let's save the nature documentary for a different time. Back to the story.
___The creature limped towards the colt. I seems to be hurt, but any perceived pain isn't stopping it from advancing towards its target. With each thud of the creature's hooves, the colt could see it become more and more enraged. However, after being chased for a long time, he only had enough strength to keep a little bit ahead.
___Then the colt tripped and tumbled down. The creature saw his chance, and lurched forward at a faster rate.
___"Ow! NO!" Cried out the colt.
___The creature lunged at him, and he closed his eyes and screamed.
___BLAM!
___After being still alive for five more seconds, the colt opened his eyes. Before him he saw the creature lying still on the ground, breathing harshly. He spotted a wound on the creatures side, smoke coming out of it.
___Ka-chunk!
___Hearing the sound of a shotgun reloading, he turned around. He saw little filly accompanied by a white mare with a purple mane. How the mare managed to keep her hair in pristine condition out here baffled the tired colt.
___"Hmmph!" huffed Rarity. "This is why I despise camping!"
___"Aw, c'mon, Rarity. It wasn't that bad!" said Sweetie Belle.
___"Who~? What~? Where~?" The colt had trouble forming a complete question.
___"I was about to ask you the same thing." Said Rarity in a mocking tone. "But perhaps we should get more acquainted first. Since you already know my name- " She glared at Sweetie Belle, who grinned sheepishly, "- I think it would be fair that we should be able to refer to you by name as well, Mister...?"
___The colt was still shocked. Just a moment ago, he was about to be killed, and now he has two ponies demanding for his name. Finally his brain finished processing all the information and responded with, "Why are you outside of the Domain?"
___Now it was Rarity and Sweetie Belle's turn to look confused. "The Domain?" asked Sweetie Belle, "Rarity, I don't think we're in Equestria anymore."
___"Equestria?" pondered the colt. "There's no such place in this entire land of Maxtopia."

{Editor's note: I just realised why "Maxtopia" sounded so familiar. Eh, I'm still keeping the name.}

___"Well, that just doesn't seem right at all," said Rarity. "But can we carry this conversation elsewhere, preferably somewhere more clean? My mane is getting all messy!"
___The colt looks at her mane, which is still spotless, despite all the dust floating around them. He still a bit confused. He hasn't seen them around in the Domain sanctuary, and there's no other known habitable areas within a 100 mile radius, and they certainly could not have survived a hike that long, not with those- those things roaming about. Still, he thought, it's better to clear things up where it's safer. They don't seem to be infected.
___"Sure," He said to the two ponies. He held out his hand. "My name is Tesla. I'm a scientist."
___After realizing that neither of the ponies are going to shake his hand, he awkwardly put it down. Looking around, he began to recognize certain landmarks to lead him back to the sanctuary.
___"Alright! Follow me, but quickly." warned Tesla, point to the creature, who no longer appears hurt and seems to be sleeping. "There are a lot more of these things around"
___Rarity smirked and held up the gun. "You don't think we haven't figured that out yet?"

Lol it's all good!

What are the underscores for?

This message board doesn't let me use tabs, and three underscores was faster to type than seven spaces. Less noisy, too.

Before I continue the story, anyone have a fimfiction account?

Republic of deae lunae

Though I read on it a lot, never set up an account myself

Hmm, apparently, the other fanfic I was working on wasn't "MLP worthy"...
I'm gonna be on a hiatus with this fic until I fix the other one, sorry.

Republic of deae lunae

No worries; hopefully you can get helpful feedback from the FiMFiction test readers.

So how is everyone?

I got the beginnings of a second fanfic up on fimfiction (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/220491/five-nights-at-twilys) If anyone is interested, and I could use a few followers.

I'm also gonna move this fanfic to the site, but I will continue to post updates here as well.

*Is also plotting on a third fanfic idea*

I'm just full of inconsistencies and unfinished tasks, ain't I

Hi everypony. Doing good?

Republic of deae lunae

Looking very much forward to some Thanksgiving turkey this weekend :D And very glad it is Friday!

Republic of deae lunae wrote:Looking very much forward to some Thanksgiving turkey this weekend :D And very glad it is Friday!

Thanksgiving in October? I like your style, kid.

Remember how I said I was going to continue the fanfic?

Yeah...

So I lost the rest of the chapters...

Republic of deae lunae

ouch >_<

Well, if it is any consolation, now you and Samuel Taylor Coleridge do share something in common :/

Republic of deae lunae wrote:ouch >_<

Well, if it is any consolation, now you and Samuel Taylor Coleridge do share something in common :/

Who?

And it was gonna be awsome. Flutters was a zombie, Pinkie finds an alicorn-body-type Twilight, and Applejack was in prison.

Republic of deae lunae

Samuel Taylor Coleridge was a famous (or so I thought anyways!) English poet who wrote 'Kubla Khan'; or at least a fragment of it.

As the story goes, he had a epiphany or sorts one day while in an opium-fueled dream state, and created in his mind the poem we would know as 'Kubla Khan'. Upon awakening he started writing this poem down but shortly after his starting, he was unfortunately interrupted by someone, and when he later went to return to his work he found that he had lost from his memory most of the poem he had created while dreaming.

So what we have is only a fragment; which can be found here if you were interested: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173247

Cool. This interests me, although I had actually lost most of the parts I had written down, rather than forgotten it straight from memory.

Disc0rd wrote:

And it was gonna be awsome. Flutters was a zombie---.

WELL WOULD YA LOOK AT THAT.

Aura sent me to help you.

I'm going to stay a little while longer, RL you and I are even now.

Republic of deae lunae

Doppio Giudici wrote:Aura sent me to help you.

Much obliged with the zombie control for our nation! Hopefully work on developing a cure goes quickly for us as well.

Republic of deae lunae

Many missile launches later, everypony currently now has a zero infection rate, san us in Deae Lunae ¡_¡

Okay I am going home now, remember to build embassies and such.

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