by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Advertisement

Search

Search

[+] Advanced...

Author:

Region:

Sort:

«12. . .929930931932933934935. . .2,4032,404»

Rogue lumberjacks wrote:[...] I have a cult I hadn't foreseen~the Cult of the Undead Squirrel (Squirrel being my national animal). [...] Those folks will be exiled ASAP!

Hey if you suddenly find hundreds of undead squirrels, we're buying! Our Leocelots need some new toys :3 (we'll just hope whatever caused the undead issue isn't contagious between different species)

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

Notice me senpai

Matrixulated

Rogue lumberjacks

Catgirls wrote:Hey if you suddenly find hundreds of undead squirrels, we're buying! Our Leocelots need some new toys :3 (we'll just hope whatever caused the undead issue isn't contagious between different species)

Not sure if we have undead squirrels~just a cult that worships them, if they actually exist. We'll start shoveling them across the boarder immediately, if not sooner...

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Alekseandrea

Rogue lumberjacks wrote:Not sure if we have undead squirrels~just a cult that worships them, if they actually exist. We'll start shoveling them across the boarder immediately, if not sooner...

You shouldn't worry.
Zombie squirrels tend to get eaten by cats.
The zombification process makes the squirrels too stupid to avoid them.

Cats are immune to the virus for some reason.

Our current theory:
Cats already contain the maximal amount of malice one can squeeze in a cat.
Trying to add more malice is like trying to avoid idiots. You just can't succeed.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Rogue lumberjacks

Rogue lumberjacks wrote:Theistic megalomaniac is even invading the issues now. Just discovered an ancient temple in my lands and discovered I have a cult I hadn't foreseen~the Cult of the Undead Squirrel (Squirrel being my national animal). Probably a side effect of a minor infection from the Jedi-Zombi-Jezus. Those folks will be exiled ASAP!

Not my fault! The strain of Zombie virus prevalent in The Church of the Jedi-Zombi Jezus is primarily a disease that crosses the interspecies boundaries between "higher" mammalian species; humans, apes, dogs, cats, pigs, and er... bears (those are real buggers!)

Matrixulated, Rogue lumberjacks, Alekseandrea, and Our lord hutton

Alekseandrea wrote:You shouldn't worry.
Zombie squirrels tend to get eaten by cats.
The zombification process makes the squirrels too stupid to avoid them.
Cats are immune to the virus for some reason.
Our current theory:
Cats already contain the maximal amount of malice one can squeeze in a cat.
Trying to add more malice is like trying to avoid idiots. You just can't succeed.

Oh dear! You obviously haven't spent much time with cats, if you think there is a limit to the malice, pure rage, and unstable volatile energy they can contain!

See here...
https://youtu.be/jk3xBhqcjqY
- You have been warned!

Matrixulated, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:The strain of Zombie virus prevalent in The Church of the Jedi-Zombi Jezus is primarily a disease that crosses the interspecies boundaries between "higher" mammalian species; humans, apes, dogs, cats, pigs, and er... bears (those are real buggers!)

*shivers* uuuhh... I need to inform my embassy, like, right now... We may have to change some tourism routes depending on the visitor's nation!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:See here... [...] - You have been warned!

:c
ha, haha, hahaha... *eye-twitch* This power...
Uh, n-no, don't look at me like that! Yes some of us have magic-- uuuhh yes most catgirls always land on their feet but--
We... we don't wanna end up as a batteries in some giant contraption !!! :c
*takes some mysterious red pill and runs to the nearest phone booth*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

45 minutes ago: Following new legislation in The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over The Jedi-Zombi Jezus.

Oh dear!

Matrixulated, Rogue lumberjacks, Kautas, and Alekseandrea

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:45 minutes ago: Following new legislation in The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over The Jedi-Zombi Jezus.
Oh dear!

Those are just radiation storms.
It's a perfectly normal type of weather.
There's nothing to fear.

Since they're already dead.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Rogue lumberjacks

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:

. . . citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over The Jedi-Zombi Jezus.
Oh dear!

Those are flies.
Lots and lots of flies.
M.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

Catgirls wrote:

. . . We... we don't wanna end up as a batteries in some giant contraption !!! :c
*takes some mysterious red pill and runs to the nearest phone booth*

Operator? I need an exit!
I could help you with that . . .
M.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Rogue lumberjacks, Alekseandrea, and Catgirls

Rogue lumberjacks

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:45 minutes ago: Following new legislation in The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over The Jedi-Zombi Jezus.
Oh dear!

Matrixulated wrote:Those are flies.
Lots and lots of flies.
M.

Jedi-Zombi-Jezus, Lord of the Flies? Christ and Anti-Christ in one person? No wonder I ain't Christian...

In other news, I apparently had a civil war at some time in the past, dealing with the Squirrel Republic (Racist separatists) flag issue...

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Alekseandrea

Our lord hutton

Petition to turn the Jedi-zombie-Jezus virus into a bio wepon to inflict on our enemies

Praise be

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Alekseandrea

Our lord hutton wrote:Petition to turn the Jedi-zombie-Jezus virus into a bio wepon to inflict on our enemies
Praise be

Viral bioweapons are, by their very nature, extremely hard to control and/or kept contained.

Don't try to save money on weapon development.
It tends to bite you in the ass.

Literally in this particular case.

Matrixulated, Darkweb, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Rogue lumberjacks, and 2 othersKautas, and Our lord hutton

Alekseandrea wrote:Viral bioweapons are, by their very nature, extremely hard to control and/or kept contained.
Don't try to save money on weapon development.
It tends to bite you in the ass.
Literally in this particular case.

Yes Alekseandrea, we in the Church of The Jedi-Zombi Jezus like to bite things in the ass, and anyone who tries to weaponize the Jedi-Zombi Virus soon finds they do too! - It is not easily contained or controlled - Whilst it is primarily transmitted through bodily fluids, it readily becomes a bio-aerosol under certain conditions, and displays what could be mistaken as actual intelligence and malice aforethought in the targetting of potential hosts for conversion or termination - It is a smart engineered thing of beauty... Haha-hahaha!!

Matrixulated, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

Rogue lumberjacks

After much contentious wrangling in the legislature, including a walkout by the opposition party and an attempted filibuster, as well as an unprecedented bombing campaign by 'The People's Front for the Liberation of the Squirrel Republic', Rogue Lumberjacks gather to salute their new national banner...

And I think that any attempt to spread J-Z-J virus should be punished by forcing the perpetrator(s) to listen to all of the Republican Presidential debates back to back for as long as they last~currently some 47 hours worth...

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Alekseandrea

Rogue lumberjacks wrote:After much contentious wrangling in the legislature, including a walkout by the opposition party and an attempted filibuster, as well as an unprecedented bombing campaign by 'The People's Front for the Liberation of the Squirrel Republic', Rogue Lumberjacks gather to salute their new national banner...
And I think that any attempt to spread J-Z-J virus should be punished by forcing the perpetrator(s) to listen to all of the Republican Presidential debates back to back for as long as they last~currently some 47 hours worth...

I can only support such a cruel punishment.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Rogue lumberjacks

Alekseandrea wrote:I can only support such a cruel punishment.

ROFLMAO!!
M.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus and Rogue lumberjacks

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:

. . . we in the Church of The Jedi-Zombi Jezus like to bite things in the ass . .. !!

Ever since JayZeeJay expressed a keen interest in munching on my ass, my cheeks have been divided, split right down the middle, on how best to respond to this.
They don't sleep well at night.
And you, Alekseandrea, would be wise not to invite undue attention.
M.

Darkweb, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Rogue lumberjacks

Rogue lumberjacks

Matrixulated wrote:Ever since JayZeeJay expressed a keen interest in munching on my ass, my cheeks have been divided, split right down the middle, on how best to respond to this.
They don't sleep well at night.
And you, Alekseandrea, would be wise not to invite undue attention.
M.

TMI, Matrixulated, TMI...

Matrixulated and The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

6 minutes ago: Alekseandrea changed its national capital to "Echo base".
16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alekseandrea, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Echo base.

I have a capital!
A Zombie-proof one, of course.
Does anyone have a suggestion for a (better) name?

Matrixulated and The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Alekseandrea wrote:6 minutes ago: Alekseandrea changed its national capital to "Echo base".
16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alekseandrea, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Echo base.
I have a capital!
A Zombie-proof one, of course.
Does anyone have a suggestion for a (better) name?

"Echo Base"?! - Is it perchance "far away in time", and perhaps "in a galaxy far, far away" aswell?!

Matrixulated and Alekseandrea

Alekseandrea wrote:

•#1 "Alekseandrea changed its national capital to "Echo base"."
•#2 "Following new legislation in Alekseandrea, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Echo base.
I have a capital!
A Zombie-proof one, of course..."

(1) It's funny that your Capital has the exact name of a place I've been before - Could it perhaps be the same place? - Perhaps I left behind some booby-traps, perhaps I did not - I don't know! Haha-hahaha!!
(2) You poor fool! - You really think that a subterranean citadel is zombie-proof?! - Many zombies arise out of subterranean homes, take naps, or lie down for a centuries-long sleep underground (there may already be some around this "Echo Base"); if they can come out of the ground, or go into it willingly and survive, surely you can see your subterranean citadel may be in great risk...

I'll leave you now; I sense it may be too late...

*A sound of scrabbling, scratching, shambling and shuffling in the distance is getting closer to your office door*

Unfortunately, these are not my kind of zombies; I'll have no sway here...

**Cuts transmission**

Matrixulated, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

Oh, I just made a new banner-like flag, for draping in all places of worship in The Jedi-Zombi Jezus - I think it gives more of the right atmosphere and impression of my nation - Thoughts?

Matrixulated, Rogue lumberjacks, and Alekseandrea

Rogue lumberjacks

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:Oh, I just made a new banner-like flag, for draping in all places of worship in The Jedi-Zombi Jezus - I think it gives more of the right atmosphere and impression of my nation - Thoughts?

First impression~Germany 1944. Just sayin'

Alekseandrea wrote:6 minutes ago: Alekseandrea changed its national capital to "Echo base".
16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Alekseandrea, all government facilities are built in the subterranean citadel of Echo base.
I have a capital!
A Zombie-proof one, of course.
Does anyone have a suggestion for a (better) name?

You could go more traditional~ancient Greek, Alekseandrapolis, for example...

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, and Our lord hutton

«12. . .929930931932933934935. . .2,4032,404»

Advertisement