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The Free Land of Woolitania

“Lassen Sie mich Arzt, ich bin durch!”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Europe

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Free Land of Woolitania is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 5.349 billion, 5.346 billion of whom are zombies, Woolitanians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Education, with areas such as Religion & Spirituality and Defence receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Woolitania City. The average income tax rate is 62%. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry.

Children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet, Woolitania's educational system is the envy of many and regarded as a pinnacle of academic achievement, the nation is now proudly cholera-free, and crime is on the rise as DNA sampling has been all but outlawed. Crime is totally unknown. Woolitania's national animal is the woolpertinger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the woolian.

Woolitania is ranked 374th in Europe and 115,087th in the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring -37 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Woolitania is currently considering its options.

People: 3,198,892

Zombies: 5,346,274,557

Dead: 14,774,985,796

Survival Rate: 0.01%

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 11 hours ago

  • 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, crime is on the rise as DNA sampling has been all but outlawed.
  • 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, the nation is now proudly cholera-free.
  • 1 day 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, Woolitania's educational system is the envy of many and regarded as a pinnacle of academic achievement.
  • 1 day 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, children as young as six shock their parents by coming out of the closet.
  • 2 days 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, guns are banned.
  • 2 days 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed.
  • 2 days 13 hours ago: Woolitania was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Information Technology Sector (last census: Top 1%).
  • 3 days 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner.
  • 3 days 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Woolitania, businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders.

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by Max Barry

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