The Tsardom of
Father Knows Best State
Land of the Never Ending Snow
Regional Influence
Dominator
Region
Civil Rights
Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Factbook Dispatches People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Tsardom of Valorono is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Tsar Abraham I with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 8.512 billion Valoronians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Administration and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Muscovy. The average income tax rate is 86.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Valoronoan economy, worth 849 trillion Valmarks a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism. Average income is 99,834 Valmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked, frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security, criminals are put to death while cuddling their favourite teddy bear, and churches now double as dungeons. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valorono's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Valoronian Orthodox.

Valorono is ranked 3rd in Orias and 7,357th in the world for Most Inclusive, scoring 106 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, churches now double as dungeons.
  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, criminals are put to death while cuddling their favourite teddy bear.
  • : Valorono changed its national leader to "Tsar Abraham I".
  • : Valorono changed its national leader to "Tsar Theodore III" and its nation type to "Tsardom".
  • : Valorono altered its national flag.
  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security.
  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked.
  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, CEOs and corporate executives are frequently found striking for better stock options.
  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads.
  • : Following new legislation in Valorono, torture is illegal.

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