The Commonwealth of
Capitalist Paradise
Af ehn, Magyr
Regional Influence
Envoy
Region
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Very Good

Overview People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Commonwealth of Valkenstein is a colossal, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, keen interest in outer space, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 9.618 billion Valkensteiners are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Spirituality are ignored. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valkensteiner economy, worth a remarkable 3,058 trillion Syns a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 317,957 Syns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,541,400 per year while the poor average 37,965, a ratio of 40.6 to 1.

Daisy chain gangs plant flowers and pick up litter, prominent cultural symbols are featured on the backs of cereal boxes, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and the children of Valkenstein are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence. Crime is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Valkenstein's national animal is the Pheonix, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Valkenstein is ranked 6th in Zarathustra and 1,669th in the world for Shortest Average Lifespan, scoring 43 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 10 days ago

  • 1 day 9 hours ago: Valkenstein fell out of the regional Top 10% for Safest.
  • 8 days ago: Valkenstein was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides (last census: Top 10%).
  • 9 days ago: Valkenstein was reclassified from "Capitalizt" to "Capitalist Paradise".
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, the children of Valkenstein are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, prominent cultural symbols are featured on the backs of cereal boxes.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, daisy chain gangs plant flowers and pick up litter.
  • 9 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, citizens are bleary-eyed after staying up all night with a good book (Valkenstein has found 4 easter eggs).
  • 22 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, the country has been 'going shopping' by annexing nearby nations for their resources.
  • 22 days ago: Following new legislation in Valkenstein, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.

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by Max Barry

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