The Commonwealth of
If You Don't Want Trouble, Leave Us Alone
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The Commonwealth of United Counties of Escanaba is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by J R R Tolkien with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.793 billion Escanabans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Great Bend. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 45.9%.

The frighteningly efficient United Counties of Escanaban economy, worth 938 trillion Rois a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 120,440 Rois, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 440,299 per year while the poor average 23,369, a ratio of 18.8 to 1.

Religious education is a new government priority, legislation sometimes has to battle through weeks of filibustering to pass, listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases, and EpiPen sales have skyrocketed. Crime is totally unknown. United Counties of Escanaba's national animal is the snowy owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

United Counties of Escanaba is ranked 4th in Orbis and 7,154th in the world for Lowest Unemployment Rates, scoring 372 on the Workforce Participation Versus Theoretical Maximum Metric.

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by Max Barry

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