The Commonwealth of
If You Don't Want Trouble, Leave Us Alone
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The Commonwealth of United Counties of Escanaba is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by J R R Tolkien with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, sprawling nuclear power plants, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.267 billion Escanabans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Public Transport, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Great Bend. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.9%.

The frighteningly efficient United Counties of Escanaban economy, worth 818 trillion Rois a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 112,634 Rois, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 570,852 per year while the poor average 12,328, a ratio of 46.3 to 1.

Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper, corporations donate huge sums of money to favored politicians, the government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, and small businesses are gobbled up almost daily by corporate giants. Crime is totally unknown. United Counties of Escanaba's national animal is the snowy owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

United Counties of Escanaba is ranked 1st in Hogwarts and 1,307th in the world for Most Politically Free, scoring 95 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

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by Max Barry

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