by Max Barry

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Largest Populations: 2,648thLargest Welfare Programs: 3,215thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,627th
The Socialist People's Fiefdom of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Werknemers van die węreld, verenig!
Influence
Instigator
Civil Rights
Good
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Uncle Noel

Population34.95 billion

CapitalItztlan
Leaderthe Politburo
FaithConstitutional Socialism

CurrencyShilling
AnimalArmadillo

The Socialist People's Fiefdom of Uncle Noel is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by the Politburo with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, rampant corporate plagiarism, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 34.95 billion Anahuacans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Itztlan. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Uncle Noelian economy, worth a remarkable 4,172 trillion Shillings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 119,391 Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Generals have trouble barking orders over the sound of thundering artillery, Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room, the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, and there are fifty shades of yellow in outdoor swimming pools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uncle Noel's national animal is the Armadillo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Constitutional Socialism.

Uncle Noel is ranked 37,037th in the world and 6th in Western Atlantic for Most Stationary, with 1,228.0395265542 days.

Top
1%
Largest Populations: 2,648thTop
5%
Largest Welfare Programs: 3,215thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,627thHighest Economic Output: 4,440thMost Cultured: 5,862ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,268thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,285thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,168thMost Advanced Public Education: 8,238thFattest Citizens: 9,571stMost Developed: 9,574thLowest Crime Rates: 9,952ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10,018thLargest Governments: 11,329thMost Inclusive: 11,772ndHighest Food Quality: 12,125thMost Efficient Economies: 12,218thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,696thSmartest Citizens: 13,186thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,346thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 13,625thMost Compassionate Citizens: 13,859thTop
10%
Most Influential: 16,422ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,816thMost Corrupt Governments: 17,053rdHighest Poor Incomes: 17,312thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,790thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,096thNicest Citizens: 23,238thMost Devout: 24,083rdLargest Retail Industry: 28,633rd
Top
5%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 3rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Influential: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 3rd in the regionHighest Food Quality: 3rd in the regionLargest Governments: 3rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Retail Industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, there are fifty shades of yellow in outdoor swimming pools.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, Maxtopian Grass flags adorn every college dorm room.
  • : Uncle Noel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Fattest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, generals have trouble barking orders over the sound of thundering artillery.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, babysitters are a thing of the past.
  • : Following new legislation in Uncle Noel, people who have never eaten chicken are told it tastes a bit like crocodile.

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