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The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1

“We're number 1”

Category: Moralistic Democracy
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Professor Hells Bot World

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1 is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by President Turner with an even hand, and notable for its punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 11.425 billion Turnstile Number 1ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, with areas such as Social Equality and the Environment receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of One Good Turn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 80%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Children as young as eight can be found working in factories, prime picnicking sites are being paved over in the name of progress, organ donation rates have hit a new low, and corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers. Crime is relatively low, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turnstile Number 1's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, its national religion is Monotheism, and its currency is the unit.

Turnstile Number 1 is ranked 63rd in Professor Hells Bot World and 110,321st in the world for Best Weather, with -368 Metres of Sunlight Above Expected.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 15 hours ago

  • 9 hours ago: Turnstile Number 1 was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Moralistic Democracy".
  • 9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, corrupt Party bureaucrats are being voted out of office in overwhelming numbers.
  • 1 day 9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, organ donation rates have hit a new low.
  • 2 days 9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, prime picnicking sites are being paved over in the name of progress.
  • 3 days 9 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, children as young as eight can be found working in factories.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls.
  • 4 days ago: Turnstile Number 1's influence in Professor Hells Bot World rose from "Minnow" to "Vassal".
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, prosecutors routinely call transplant doctors as 'expert witnesses' in burglary cases.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, innocent defendants often plead guilty for fear of receiving a much harsher sentence before jury.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, Turnstile Number 1's schoolchildren are manufactured into a segregated bunch of soldiers, religious zealots, and computer technicians.

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by Max Barry

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