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The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1

“We're number 1”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Professor Hells Bot World

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1 is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Turner with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 11.283 billion Turnstile Number 1ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, with areas such as Social Equality and the Environment receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of One Good Turn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Government spending has hit an all-time low, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, police officers ride the swiftest eagles, and cheating spouses are required to undergo job training. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is relatively low, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turnstile Number 1's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, its national religion is Monotheism, and its currency is the unit.

Turnstile Number 1 is ranked 72nd in Professor Hells Bot World and 109,838th in the world for Most Cultured, scoring -32 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 12 hours ago

  • 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, cheating spouses are required to undergo job training.
  • 1 day 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, police officers ride the swiftest eagles.
  • 2 days 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage.
  • 3 days 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, government spending has hit an all-time low.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the importance of winning Olympic gold medals is indoctrinated from an early age.
  • 5 days ago: Turnstile Number 1 fell out of the world Top 10% for Lowest Unemployment Rates.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws.
  • 8 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, clothed men and nude women illustrate the stark contrasts in the nation's equality laws.

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by Max Barry

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