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The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1

“We're number 1”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Professor Hells Bot World

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1 is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Turner with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 11.837 billion Turnstile Number 1ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, with areas such as the Environment and Social Equality receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of One Good Turn. The average income tax rate is 78%, and even higher for the wealthy. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport, unemployment is through the roof after the government enacted living wage laws, underground copulation clubs have sprung up in major cities, and mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field. Crime is well under control, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turnstile Number 1's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, its national religion is Monotheism, and its currency is the unit.

Turnstile Number 1 is ranked 12th in Professor Hells Bot World and 5,330th in the world for Nudest, with 708 Cheeks per Square Mile.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 10 hours ago

  • 5 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field.
  • 1 day 5 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, underground copulation clubs have sprung up in major cities.
  • 2 days 5 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, unemployment is through the roof after the government enacted living wage laws.
  • 3 days 5 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, it is illegal to make racist remarks in public.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, protests are legal but strictly supervised.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the populace has developed a mortal fear of the woods.
  • 8 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the government has cut taxes in the face of widespread tax evasion.
  • 9 days ago: Turnstile Number 1 was reclassified from "Father Knows Best State" to "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy".

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by Max Barry

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