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The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1

“We're number 1”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Professor Hells Bot World

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1 is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by President Turner with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 11.624 billion Turnstile Number 1ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Law & Order, with areas such as the Environment and Social Equality receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of One Good Turn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry, embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns, and employers may fire workers without giving any reason. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is moderate. Turnstile Number 1's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, its national religion is Monotheism, and its currency is the unit.

Turnstile Number 1 is ranked 64th in Professor Hells Bot World and 96,271st in the world for Most Extensive Civil Rights, with 30 Martin Luther King, Jr. Units.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 14 hours ago

  • 8 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, employers may fire workers without giving any reason.
  • 3 days 7 hours ago: Turnstile Number 1 was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Largest Populations (last census: Top 5%).
  • 3 days 8 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, most of the military's funding goes into researching space-age weaponry.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, chess hooliganism is on the rise after the banning of organised sports.
  • 7 days ago: Turnstile Number 1 was reclassified from "Moralistic Democracy" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, pollsters are out of a job as elections have been cancelled.
  • 8 days ago: Turnstile Number 1 was reclassified from "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy" to "Moralistic Democracy".
  • 8 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, otherwise healthy people are being sent to internment camps because they have VODAIS.

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by Max Barry

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