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The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1

“We're number 1”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Professor Hells Bot World

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Nomadic Peoples of Turnstile Number 1 is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by President Turner with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.22 billion Turnstile Number 1ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is dominated by the Department of Law & Order, with Industry, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of One Good Turn. The average income tax rate is 84.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Turnstile Number 1ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,276 trillion units a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Uranium Mining industry. Average income is an impressive 104,463 units, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Leather-clad individuals can be seen walking their slaves in public parks, it's always rabbit season, families are only permitted to have one child, and violent criminals are doomed to be hunted by a psychotic billionaire. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turnstile Number 1's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Monotheism.

Turnstile Number 1 is ranked 46th in Professor Hells Bot World and 41,800th in the world for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 80 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 21 hours ago

  • 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, violent criminals are doomed to be hunted by a psychotic billionaire.
  • 1 day 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, families are only permitted to have one child.
  • 2 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, it's always rabbit season.
  • 3 days 13 hours ago: Turnstile Number 1 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Devout (last census: Top 5%).
  • 3 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, leather-clad individuals can be seen walking their slaves in public parks.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the nation has welcomed its expats back with open arms.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, the fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen.
  • 7 days ago: Following new legislation in Turnstile Number 1, corporations are forbidden from employing outside the nation.
  • 8 days ago: Turnstile Number 1 fell out of the world Top 10% for Largest Public Sector.

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by Max Barry

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