The Sexy and Lovable Alliance of The Cold Blue North is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 40.269 billion Cold Blue Northians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 79.0%.

The thriving Cold Blue Northian economy, worth a remarkable 2,532 trillion coins a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 62,895 coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste and avoid even more costly cleanup costs, the nation has an international reputation for compassion, military funding has been stripped back, and the judicial branch is strongly influenced by major corporations. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Cold Blue North's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

The Cold Blue North is ranked 82,018^th in the world and 3^rd in The Isles O Chocolate Coatings for Lowest Crime Rates, with 68.25 law-abiding acts per hour.