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The Grand Duchy of The Chestnut Tree Cafe

“Freedom is the freedom to say 2+2 = 4”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Superb

Regional Influence: Ambassador

Location: libertarian

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Grand Duchy of The Chestnut Tree Cafe is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emmanuel Goldstein with a fair hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 7.921 billion enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is mainly concerned with Education, although Public Transport and Law & Order are on the agenda. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Airstrip One. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Only vaccinated citizens may have free healthcare, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in The Chestnut Tree Cafe to be bombproof, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, and the fire protection service is wholly government-funded. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Chestnut Tree Cafe's national animal is the giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the spangle.

The Chestnut Tree Cafe is ranked 31st in libertarian and 117,845th in the world for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring -8 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 2 days 16 hours ago

  • 2 days 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, the fire protection service is wholly government-funded.
  • 2 days 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume.
  • 3 days 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in The Chestnut Tree Cafe to be bombproof.
  • 3 days 15 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, only vaccinated citizens may have free healthcare.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, Max Barry is this year's Miss The Chestnut Tree Cafe.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
  • 5 days ago: The Chestnut Tree Cafe was ranked in the Top 10% of the region for Highest Police Ratios (last census: Top 5%).
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, every product goes through extensive safety-testing by the government.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, senior citizens can usually be found doing heavy manual labour.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Chestnut Tree Cafe, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.

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by Max Barry

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