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The Burlesque Republic of The Centauri

“What do you want you Moon-Faced Assassin of Joy?”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: Wysteria

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The Burlesque Republic of The Centauri is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Jaffa with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 24.917 billion The Centaurians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, pro-business individuals juggles the competing demands of Defence, Commerce, and Education. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Centauri Prime. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Automobile Manufacturing industries.

There are no minimum wage laws, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park, the children of The Centauri are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence, and citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is crippling. The Centauri's national animal is the Narn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, its national religion is the pantheon of fifty deities, and its currency is the ducket.

The Centauri is ranked 161st in Wysteria and 111,908th in the world for Least Corrupt Governments, scoring -608 on the Inverse Mugabe Relativity Rating.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 29 minutes ago

  • 2 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want.
  • 2 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, the children of The Centauri are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence.
  • 2 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park.
  • 2 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, there are no minimum wage laws.
  • 2 days 14 hours ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, the government has the power to seize property at will.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, students cut up leftover duckets during Arts and Crafts.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, airship use has soared while property values beneath their routes have plummeted.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in The Centauri, citizens who become homeless are immediately executed.

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by Max Barry

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