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The Very Lovely Sultanate of Splang

“[first 12 notes of Dixie]”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Oop North


The Very Lovely Sultanate of Splang is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Master of the Ordnance with a fair hand, and renowned for its hatred of cheese. The compassionate, intelligent population of 11.343 billion, 11.24 billion of whom are zombies, Splangians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of the Environment, Education, and Social Welfare. The average income tax rate is 100%. The private sector is almost wholly made up of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out.

Citizens select which government department gets their income tax eyebrows each year, strategic bombers are being converted into preschools, violently opinionated speakers can be heard preaching their hateful views on every street corner, and public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers. Crime is totally unknown. Splang's national animal is the armadillo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the eyebrow.

Splang is ranked 1st in Oop North and 115,067th in the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring -36 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.

Splang is currently considering its options.

People: 103,273,922

Zombies: 11,240,032,175

Dead: 9,140,128,672

Survival Rate: 0.50%

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 3 days 14 hours ago

  • 3 days 8 hours ago: Splang's influence in Oop North rose from "Minnow" to "Hermit".
  • 3 days 14 hours ago: Splang relocated from Osiris to Oop North.
  • 3 days 14 hours ago: Splang founded the region Oop North.
  • 3 days 14 hours ago: Splang was refounded in Osiris.
  • 261 days ago: Splang ceased to exist.
  • 276 days ago: Splang fell out of the regional Top 10% for Largest Defense Forces.
  • 277 days ago: Splang was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Highest Average Tax Rates.
  • 280 days ago: Splang was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Most Rebellious Youth.
  • 289 days ago: Splang was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates (last census: Top 1%).
  • 289 days ago: Splang was ranked in the Top 1% of the region for Lowest Crime Rates.


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by Max Barry

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