Spotlight on:

National Flag

The United Socialist States of Span

“We Own Y'all!”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Imploded
Political Freedoms:
Excessive

Regional Influence: Minnow

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The United Socialist States of Span is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by M Shobacus Maz with a fair hand, and notable for its happy-go-lucky citizens. The compassionate, intelligent population of 25.27 billion Spansters enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it devotes most of its attentions to Education, with areas such as Healthcare and Commerce receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maz. The average income tax rate is 77%, and even higher for the wealthy. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Book Publishing industry.

Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, residents of newly dried out bays live in fear of leaky dikes, teachers are routinely tested to keep their jobs, and the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Span's national animal is the donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the spanny.

Span is ranked 4,410th in The North Pacific and 113,760th in the world for Most Godforsaken, with -298 Dawkins.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 23 hours ago

  • 4 hours ago: Span was endorsed by The Republic of Stuzemstazem.
  • 11 hours ago: Span was reclassified from "Civil Rights Lovefest" to "New York Times Democracy".
  • 11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Span, the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced.
  • 2 days 11 hours ago: Span was endorsed by The Incorporated States of Chinstralia.
  • 2 days 23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Span, teachers are routinely tested to keep their jobs.
  • 3 days 11 hours ago: Following new legislation in Span, residents of newly dried out bays live in fear of leaky dikes.
  • 3 days 23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Span, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume.
  • 3 days 23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Span, the newspaper industry is subsidised by the government in order to keep it afloat.
  • 4 days ago: Following new legislation in Span, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries.
  • 5 days ago: Following new legislation in Span, the Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy.

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by Max Barry

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