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“Will that be Apple, Peach or Butterscotch?”

The Distribution Warehouses of Schnapps Drinkers is a gargantuan, economically powerful nation, ruled by Your Grace with an even hand, and remarkable for its parental licensing program. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 12.431 billion are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, pro-business government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Distilleries. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Uranium Mining industry, followed by Gambling and Arms Manufacturing.

All tariffs have been abolished, referenda are held for every conceivable government action, bombs are permitted on planes for the 'security of the passengers', and school uniforms are compulsory. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schnapps Drinkers's national animal is the Hot Floozies, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Sexy Silver Ducats.

Schnapps Drinkers is ranked 82nd in the region and 38,913th in the world for Highest Unemployment Rates.