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The Doomsville of Pikawil

“Welcome to Die!”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: The Chewlands

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The Doomsville of Pikawil is a colossal, devout nation, ruled by Shrek with an iron fist, and remarkable for its suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 7.672 billion Megucas are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, pro-business government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is effectively ruled by the Department of Defence, with areas such as Social Welfare and Education receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mitakihara Town. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81%. A powerhouse of a private sector is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry.

Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park, public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people", euthanasia is illegal, and the adult unemployment rate nears 100% as all available jobs have been filled by young children. Crime is crippling, probably because of the country's utter lack of prisons. Pikawil's national animal is the Coobie, which is also the nation's favorite main course, its national religion is Ogre, and its currency is the Sool Jim.

Pikawil is ranked 8th in The Chewlands and 116,512th in the world for Smartest Citizens, scoring -22 on the Average Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 12 hours ago

  • 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, the adult unemployment rate nears 100% as all available jobs have been filled by young children.
  • 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, euthanasia is illegal.
  • 4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people".
  • 1 day 15 hours ago: Pikawil was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extreme.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, property values in suburbs have nosedived after the middle class were forced to live next door to ethnic minorities.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, all new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, the government is reining in public spending.
  • 1 day 16 hours ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, online tourism reviews of Pikawil are suspiciously positive and amazingly similar.
  • 6 days ago: Following new legislation in Pikawil, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws.

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by Max Barry

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