The Protectorate of
Left-wing Utopia
Iuvans illos qui auxilium requirunt
Regional Influence
Minnow
Region
Civil Rights
Excellent
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Superb

Overview Factbook Dispatches People Government Economy Trend Analysis

The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, anti-smoking policies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 10.31 billion Paffniacs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 1,791 trillion paffnars a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 173,772 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All guns must be registered, discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, and Paffnia's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 6th in Hogwarts and 7,675th in the world for Most Inclusive, scoring 103 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.

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by Max Barry

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