The Protectorate of
Liberal Democratic Socialists
Iuvans illos qui auxilium requirunt
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The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 10.127 billion Paffniacs love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 1,744 trillion paffnars a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 172,305 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Paffnia's famous countrysides are shrouded by wind farms, suit-clad businessmen have been taking advantage of the relaxed welfare qualifications by shopping with food stamps, almost all of Paffnia's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices, and the people are famous throughout the region for their bleached-white teeth. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Paffnia is ranked 1st in Valhalla and 1,243rd in the world for Most Pacifist, scoring 892 on the Lennon-Springsteen Scale.

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by Max Barry

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