The Warmongering Scaredy Cats of Pacifist Cowards is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by a drunk northerner with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.931 billion Cowards hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Peaceful Glade. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Cowardly economy, worth a remarkable 5,107 trillion shiny things a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 269,795 shiny things, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents, couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten, Cowardly watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime is totally unknown. Pacifist Cowards's national animal is the peaceful herbivore, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Opiates.

Pacifist Cowards is ranked 5,084^th in the world and 129^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 116.08 law-abiding acts per hour.