Location: Atlantian Oceania

Overview • People • Government • Economy • Trend • Analysis

The Dirty Cheats of Northern Bettia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Cutey Snugglekins with an iron fist, and remarkable for its suspicion of poets. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 14.43 billion are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defence, with areas such as Social Equality and the Environment receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Viagra. Income tax is unheard of. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, followed by Uranium Mining and Automobile Manufacturing.

Political activists are routinely executed, same-sex marriages are increasingly common, pristine wilderness has been trashed in the quest for cheaper oil, and teenagers stay out into the wee hours of the morning "stargazing". Crime -- especially youth-related -- is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Northern Bettia's national animal is the Giant Ant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, its national religion is Voodoo, and its currency is the Groat.

Northern Bettia is ranked 234th in Atlantian Oceania and 130,468th in the world for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -294 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.

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NationStates by Max Barry, author of and