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The Dirty Cheats of Northern Bettia

“You're going home in a f**king ambulance”

Category: Compulsory Consumerist State
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Truckler

Location: Atlantian Oceania

OverviewPeopleGovernmentEconomyTrendAnalysis

The Dirty Cheats of Northern Bettia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Cutey Snugglekins with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, national health service, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 18.124 billion Gogs are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Viagra. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Northern Bettian economy, worth a remarkable 5,481 trillion Groats a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 302,469 Groats, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,107,835 per year while the poor average 15,048, a ratio of 140 to 1.

The state subsidizes liposuction, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park, groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety', and vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Northern Bettia's national animal is the Giant Ant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Voodoo.

Northern Bettia is ranked 1st in Atlantian Oceania and 577th in the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 14 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: 11 hours ago

  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Northern Bettia, vitriolic divorce proceedings have become prime-time television.
  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Northern Bettia, groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety'.
  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Northern Bettia, Ollie the Oiled Seal welcomes throngs of tourists to the newly opened Oil Oasis Water Park.
  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Northern Bettia, the state subsidizes liposuction.
  • 10 hours ago: Following new legislation in Northern Bettia, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses.
  • 21 hours ago: Northern Bettia was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector (last census: #1).
  • 4 days ago: Northern Bettia was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector (last census: Top 1%).
  • 4 days ago: Northern Bettia was ranked in the Top 5% of the region for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector (last census: #1).
  • 6 days ago: Northern Bettia was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Public Sector.
  • 8 days ago: Northern Bettia was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Stupidest Citizens (last census: Top 1%).

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by Max Barry

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