The Guychat Fiefdom of NOrTh pAcIfiC spY is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Gertrude with an iron fist, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, pith helmet sales, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.112 billion NOrTh pAcIfiC spieses are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pacific Spying HQ. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient NOrTh pAcIfiC spYian economy, worth a remarkable 9,156 trillion Cookies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 479,074 Cookies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children often kick Cookie Monsters for amusement, prospective secessionists nervously declare how worthless and unimportant they are, citizens who fail to follow the official national religion are executed, and the nation tends not to learn from its history. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. NOrTh pAcIfiC spY's national animal is the Cookie Monster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Gestdom.

NOrTh pAcIfiC spY is ranked 2,333^rd in the world and 77^th in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 139.07 law-abiding acts per hour.