The ♛ Kingdom of Malmberget is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Santa with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, unlimited-speed roads, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 28.179 billion Malmbergetians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pole. The average income tax rate is 61.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Malmbergetian economy, worth a remarkable 2,885 trillion Gold Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 102,394 Gold Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

The recently unemployed can often be seen at the local homeless shelter, small children are frequently chased by rehabilitated pitbulls, trespassers entering Santa's office are immediately vaporized, and multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malmberget's national animal is the Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Malmbergetism.

Malmberget is ranked 64,109^th in the world and 5^th in Sweden for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.01 law-abiding acts per hour.