Most Efficient Economies: 170th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 865th Most Influential: 1,219th
The Dark Lord of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
All of Arda will be mine. There is no hope in the West.
Lord Malkir
Regional Influence
Eminence Grise
WA Delegate / The Dark Lord Malkir
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches People Government Economy Rank Trend

The Dark Lord of Malkir is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Lord Malkir with an even hand, and notable for its frequent executions, ritual sacrifices, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 9.636 billion Malkirans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Angbad. The average income tax rate is 4.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Malkiran economy, worth a remarkable 1,744 trillion Slaves a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 180,992 Slaves, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up, all tariffs have been abolished, and the average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Malkir's national animal is the Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Cult of Melkor.

Malkir is ranked 161,459th in the world and 69th in Mordor for Lowest Crime Rates, with 10.69 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Most Efficient Economies: 170thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 865thMost Influential: 1,219thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1,634thTop
Largest Information Technology Sector: 2,568thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,766thMost Cultured: 3,477thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,626thMost Developed: 3,817thSmartest Citizens: 3,860thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,710thHighest Economic Output: 4,986thLargest Retail Industry: 5,201stHighest Crime Rates: 5,788thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,866thHighest Average Incomes: 5,924thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7,229thHighest Poor Incomes: 7,297thLargest Insurance Industry: 7,857thLargest Black Market: 7,990thRudest Citizens: 8,299thTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 9,930thHealthiest Citizens: 10,205thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,404thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 10,766thLargest Populations: 12,365thNudest: 12,861stLargest Gambling Industry: 12,994thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 13,536thMost Stationary: 14,504thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 16,447th
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Influential: 3rd in the regionTop
Most Developed: 4th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 7th in the regionLargest Populations: 7th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionMost Cultured: 7th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Malkir was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Rudest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Malkir, the average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work.
  • : Malkir was reclassified from "Left-Leaning College State" to "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy".
  • : Following new legislation in Malkir, all tariffs have been abolished.
  • : Following new legislation in Malkir, a niche industry catering to S&M enthusiasts has sprung up.
  • : Following new legislation in Malkir, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Malkir, the Malkiran Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances.
  • : Malkir was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Malkir lodged a message on the Mordor Regional Message Board.
  • : Malkir lodged a message on the Mordor Regional Message Board.


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by Max Barry

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